


Returned from Outerspace

by ichdeutscher



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cousin Incest, Eton College, F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, M/M, Returning Home, Reunions, Secret Relationship, Summer, Young Love, posh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22369216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichdeutscher/pseuds/ichdeutscher
Summary: Jon spent an entire year avoiding his cousin Robb, after Robb tried to tell the family about the two of them. Now Jon's back and he wants to make amends, but it won't go as easily as he hopes. Or maybe it will.
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Jon Snow/Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Kyra
Comments: 79
Kudos: 68





	1. 1

Returned from Outerspace

Despite my constant complaining on the subject, I really did love the drive back home. I liked the open spaces and the wind through my hair, but I think what I liked most was the quiet. There wasn’t a single place like the car where I could think, and I mean really think. And God knows I definitely needed to think now more than ever. I hadn’t been home in over a year and that was by design. That lasted time I’d seen them, the last time I’d seen him, was when I’d left after I finished Sixth Form. Damn. That was really a year ago, wasn’t it?

If my parents were still alive, I could ask them what to do. My father would tell me to kiss him the next time I saw him. Dad wouldn’t care that we were cousins either. Nope, he would tell me that if I wanted him and he wanted me, and then he would say that we were both daft for caring what anyone else thought of it. Of course, mother would give me some very different advice. He was her nephew, after all. She would tell me that he and I needed to have a talk and try to consider what we really wanted and decide if it was worth it. She would be right too and we certainly needed to talk. He wanted to talk to me, but I ran off on him a year ago. I wondered if he still loved me, or if he even still thought of me. I thought of him all the time. 

Instead heading straight home, I thought I would stop in Berwick-upon-Tweed. I had always taken a strange, but special interest in the town as I felt I could relate to it, in some ways. It was technically English, though it had spent much time in Scotland. It straddled the border, forced to commit to a side, but never really being sure where it really belonged. Well, I could readily relate. I visited a pub and drank whiskey. I hadn’t had whiskey in months; it just wasn’t the same at uni. And quite frankly, it still wasn’t the same, even in Berwick, which I thought of so fondly.

Although Berwick might have been a town I could relate to, I knew that I had visited because it was the place where he had kissed me for the very first time. We were 16 and we had planned our trip down to Newcastle. But we never made it. He could be very spontaneous in a good way and in a bad. He kissed me on the beach. I remembered it like it was an hour ago. I jumped back from the kiss and told, “Robb, we can’t. We’re cousins.” His response was just to smile at me. He didn’t say a single word and then he kissed me again. He looked good in the summer. Of course, he looked good in the winter, the autumn, and the spring too, but in the summer, he looked his best.

From Berwick, it was a simple hour drive, the anxiety filling my stomach more and more and more. I wondered what Robb had done the past year. Maybe he had a boyfriend now, a boyfriend that wasn’t his cousin. Hell, maybe he had a girlfriend, although that one was criminally unlikely. He went to the University of St Andrews. That was our plan. We’d both finish Sixth Form and then study there, at that ancient campus. He had always kept his promises to me, but when it counted, I broke mine to him. He told me that he wanted to tell his parents and his siblings (my aunt and uncle and cousins) about us. My response was to leave the next day and head for Durham University. Fucking coward.

I sighed as I pulled up to the gate. The same woman manned it. I slowly let down my window, so she could see my face. She gasped when she saw me, “Jon! Wow, I haven’t seen you in ages. None of us have.”

I felt like such an asshole toff for not remembering her name. What was it? Angela, Angelica? Sally? I couldn’t recall. Yet and still I smiled at her and at least attempted to be polite and considerate. “I know, I’ve been off at uni. It’s great to the back though.”

She nodded at me and said, “Well everyone will be so excited to see you now that you’re back.” Then she raised an eyebrow and asked, “You are back, aren’t you?”

I nodded solemnly to her question. “Yes, I am back.” She smiled and pushed the button that lifted the gate. I drove past the gate and just sighed. The thing I hated most about living with the Starks was the long drive from the gate to the house. Which wasn’t even a house; it was an ancestral castle by the name of Thirlestane. According to the Daily Mail reporters themselves, “Thirlestane Castle was the official seat of the Dukes of Lauderdale and now Eddard Stark, the 13th Duke of Lauderdale, lived at the castle with his wife, Catelyn, his five children, Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Rickon, and his tragically orphaned nephew, Jon.” By the way, I hated that article. It went on to talk about the £ 85 million pounds that I had inherited from my parents after their deaths, as if I was some greedy toff waiting for my parents to die. Well I’ll tell you now, I’d take my parents being with me again a thousand times before the fucking money.

As I pulled into the car park, I sighed. I got out of the car, locked it behind me, and grabbed my jumped from the trunk, it was colder at Thirlestane that it was at Durham. As soon as I slipped it on, I heard a faint “Jon?” It wasn’t a masculine voice by any measure and I was certain that I had heard it before. I turned around to see my cousin, Arya. I smiled at her. I hadn’t seen her for a year. A whole year. She looked so much older though, I barely recognized her. “Arya? Is it really you?” She nodded at me. I started walking over there, opening my arms for a hug. Instead, I was met with a sharp slap. “You asshole!” She screamed at me. “What kind of cousin just takes off for a year and doesn’t talk to his family at all! That's so fucked up.”

I rubbed my cheek as she screamed at me. She wasn’t wrong, either. Only an asshole would just disappear on his family for a year. That's right, I'm an asshole. I turned and looked at her and by then, her face had softened. She then hugged me and muttered, “It is nice to see you. I missed you. We’ve all really missed you. Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again.”

I nodded. She then motioned towards the car and asked, “New car? Can I take a spin in it?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, it’s new. And no, not a chance.”

She laughed for a bit. “Nice to see you haven’t changed.” She went quiet for a bit and then admitted, “We knew you were coming back today. Don’t tell mum I know this, but she and father had you followed.”

My neck snapped in surprise. “They did what?”

She nodded. “You wouldn’t answer your phone and they were worried that something might happened to you. A 19 year old with a net worth of 85 million would be an easy target to kidnap and try to extort. They were only trying to lookout for you.”

Despite my being annoyed by the fact that my aunt and uncle had me followed, I did appreciate that they tried to look out for me. Something really could have happened to me. I could be careless and thoughtless sometimes.

“Robb’s home.”

I gulped at his name. Whenever I thought about Robb, I would be certain not to think his name. It would bring too many emotions. I couldn’t find the words to respond to her with, so she just continued. “He’s rarely home these days. Spends most of his time off in Glasgow. I spoke to him for the first time in a while today. He’s really excited to see you. He put gel in his hair and all. I think he means to take you into Edinburgh.”

My heart started beating really quickly. Robb would always take me into Edinburgh on the weekends. It was only a thirty minute drive from the castle and it was the most exciting thing to do for miles. It was nice to think that Robb wasn’t mad at me. But then again, he could be taking me into the city to push me into the sea. So, there’s always that to be aware of.

Arya just continued. Her personality hadn’t really changed much; she liked to talk when I last saw her and she still liked to talk now. “You know, when you left without telling any of us, he cried. He cried for a week straight. I had never seen Robb cry before. No one could console him. Then after his week of weeping, he got really angry. He bought a punching bag and all anyone would hear was him going to town on it. Punching it, over and over and over again.” She looked me in the eyes and said, “Jon, if you’re only here for a bit and plan to take off again, then don’t even come inside. You put Robb through hell when you left and I won’t have that happening again. Shit, you put me and everyone else in the family through hell. So if you walk through the doors, then you have to be a part of this family again.”

I sighed, but nodded. I knew that she was only trying to protect her big brother. I looked at her and honestly said, “I’ll do my best to be a part of the family.”

She eyed me for a few moments, but eventually she shrugged and muttered, “Alright then, asshole. Let’s go inside.”


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon takes a trip with Arya and then runs into Robb.

2\. 

I had always liked 18th century paintings and Thirlestane was full of them. Full of ancestors of all sorts, sailors, captains, lords, ladies, and harlots. I had always liked the harlots best, they had the most interesting stories Their paintings always made me wonder about their lives. Were the happy and more importantly, were they free? The questions always plagued my mind. Due to my fascination with the portraits, my parents had a portrait of me drawn up for my eleventh birthday. Now, t hung on the walls of Thirlestane. It offered a sort of cruel irony. My parents’ estate burned to the ground and nothing survived, nothing but a silly portrait. 

“Admiring yourself?” Arya asked as I looked at my portrait. I had almost forgotten she was there. She cocked her head to the side and asked, “Isn’t vanity one of those seven deadly sins you used to talk about?”

I rolled my eyes. “Let’s see: pride, sloth, gluttony, greed, lust, wrath, and envy. Vanity is not on the list. Unless of course, you would consider vanity as pride.”

She rolled her eyes back at me, never one for my intellectual debates. “Will you shut it with that? You can be so annoying sometimes, you know that?” Her words were harsh, but she said it with a smile and I knew she was only being silly. I sighed. As much as I had avoided coming back here, it was so nice to be back, even if nothing was the same.

“Where is everyone?” I asked. “It’s so quiet now. Is this the new normal?”

She nodded. “A lot’s changed since you ran off Jon. Nothing has been right. I know this is selfish, but when I found out that you were coming back, I hoped it meant that everything would go back to the way it was. I miss that so much, you know? I miss my old life.”

I squinted in confusion. What was she talking about? Had things changed so drastically since I’d gone? It was almost like being in another world and I didn’t like it at all. “Arya, what do you mean? How have things changed so much?”

My heart was beating so quickly in anticipation, because I needed to know. How could things have changed so much in one simple year? For some reason, I was certain that I would be able to waltz back in here and that everything would be the same. Arya just shrugged at me and said, “I could tell you, but you’ll find out soon enough.” She pressed a button on the side of the wall and said something quietly. Almost immediately, an old man came rushing through the doors.

“Mr. Luwin? You still work here, after all this time?” Mr. Luwin was the head butler at Thirlestane. Back at my parents’ estate in Derbyshire, Mr. Selmy did a similar job to what Mr. Luwin did. Luckily when the fire came, Mr. Selmy was on holiday in Belgium. He lives in Camden and we keep in touch. I sometimes wonder if he was more upset at my parents death than I was. Hm. 

Mr. Luwin smiled at me and gave me a tight hug. “It’s so great to see you around here, Jon. It’s been so different.” Arya rolled her eyes (something she tended to do a lot) and changed the subject. “Jon parked his new Maserati in the car park and I was hoping that you could take his bags and put it in his old room.”

My neck snapped at Arya. Her father, Uncle Ned, had always told us to do our own work, not to ask people like Mr. Luwin to do it for us. He would have been shocked to hear such. However, Mr. Luwin gave a simple nod and complied with her request. I was puzzled, things really were different. She then grabbed my hand and said, “Come, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

After dragging me all across the grounds, we arrived in horse stable. “Why are we here?” I asked her, out of sheer confusion.

She raised an eyebrow, “You used to love riding horses. Remember when you won the polo championship? Horse riding not your thing anymore?”

She was right; I used to adore riding horses. Once, I had auditioned for the Spanish Riding School in Vienna. Of course, I hadn’t ridden a horse in a long time and I certainly didn’t want to ride one today. I didn’t say anything response and I toyed with the sleeve of my shirt. She then continued, “I’m not asking you to ride today. I just want you to meet someone.”

I sighed out of frustration. “Who could possibly be out here? This is a fucking stable.”

Just as I said that, a man appeared from inside the stable. I knew him, but I couldn’t quite remember him name. George or Gerald or something. He was from Kent, but he lived in Scottish Borders and he was the horse tamer. He was the same age as I was, so I had always assumed he had some tragic background, maybe one similar to mine. It was sad really, when boys like me had a tragedy happen to them, we come and live at a Scottish castle. When boys like him had a tragedy happen to them, they came and worked at a Scottish castle. 

I offered him my hand and he shook it. “Nice to see you again, Jon.”

I nodded and returned the gesture. “Very nice to see you again to.” Then I turned to Arya, “Is this who you wanted me to meet? You do realize that we’ve already met. I know ….” I trailed off, trying to remember the man’s name. I decided that his name was most likely George, “I know George already.”

Unfortunately, George laughed and I then became certain that his name was not George. “My name’s Gendry mate, but George is close enough. You can call me George if you want.”

Arya coughed obnoxiously and all but yelled, “His name is Gendry, so that’s what you’ll call him.”

I let out a small laugh and just shrugged. “Ok, Gendry then. So why am I here?”

Arya toyed with her thumbs for a bit and then finally said, “Gendry’s my boyfriend.”

He was a bit old for her, if you ask me. But I knew that no one was asking me my opinion and that it would be best for me to keep it to myself. “Oh.” I muttered. “You’re dating the horse tamer? How egalitarian.”

She didn’t seem to like my comment and she flipped me off. “Dating the horse tamer is ten times better than dating your own cousin and refusing to tell anyone about it.”

My neck snapped. “What?” I asked in desperation. “What are you talking about?”

Gendry laughed nervously. “Well it’s certainly nice to see you again, Jon. Charles, your favorite horse certainly has missed you. He’ll be glad to see you.” He turned to Arya, “I’ll see you later, love.” She nodded and gave him a quick peck on the lips while I stood in disbelief. Gendry returned to the stables to do his job and Arya walked off, leaving me standing like a fool.

“Arya!” I called after her. “What are you talking about?” Did Robb tell her? That’s the only possible explanation, because it was too specific to be a random insult. She was moving much faster than I was and I gave up on trying to catch up to her. At some point, I laid down on the grass outside of the castle as I had done so many times before. It was so quiet out there, quiet and calm.

“Lying in the grass again? Some things never change, huh?” a voice asked. I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach; I knew exactly who the voice belonged to. I slowly looked up and saw him, standing in front of me. God, he was handsome. His hair was still curly and his eyes were still piercing blue, but that was all that was the same about him. He was skinny the last time I saw him, skinny and thin. Now he had clearly gained some muscle and some style, too. In years past, he would delight in taking the piss about me wearing fitted suits from Savile Row. And there he was in front of me, wearing a suit so perfectly tailored you’d think he was modeling it.

“So are you just going to lie there in the grass or are you going to give me a hug? And before you make your decision, I’d like to remind you that you haven’t seen me in over a year.” He joked. I was surprised to see that he was being so friendly to me. I slowly rose from the ground and stood. Immediately, I was enveloped into strong arms. He smelled nice too. I could tell it was Giorgio Armani; I used to wear it every day. I wondered if that’s why he was wearing it.

He released me from the hug and asked, “Is that your Maserati out front? Fucking wicked, mate. Mind if I take a spin in it?”

I genuinely laughed. “Funny, that’s the exact same thing that Arya asked.”

He just shrugged. “Great minds think alike then.” He paused for a moment and then said, “It really is good to see you, Jon. I really missed you, more than I could say. It was hell without you.” He trailed off.

I didn’t know what to say. Robb could be so open and honest with his feelings. Me on the other hand preferred to keep things deep inside until they came gushing out in my therapist’s office. “I’m sorry.” I quietly muttered, mostly to myself.

He grunted, “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Jon. When you’re really sorry, tell me then.” At that, I looked up into his eyes. He wasn’t wearing a mean or cruel face. He just wanted me to be honest. That’s all Robb ever really wanted. Honesty and respect.

He cocked his head in the direction of the car park and said, “C’mon mate, let’s go. You’ve got to let me take a spin in the new wheels. Besides, I can’t stand being here anymore.”

Again, another reminder of how much things had changed. I remember Thirlestane used to be Robb’s favorite place in the entire world. He loved it more than he loved anything else, even me. Besides, one day it would be his and he would the Duke of Lauderdale.

“Why don’t you like being here anymore, Robb? What’s happened while I was away?” I asked, in desperate hope for answers.

He smirked at me and offered, “Maybe I’ll answer your question if you let me take a spin in your new car.” I huffed in sheer annoyance. I dug in my pocket and pulled out the keys. Then, I haphazardly threw them in Robb’s direction. Surprisingly, he caught them. “Nice catch.” I admitted. He shrugged and climbed into the driver’s seat while I ducked into the passenger’s.

“Is this what you and all your toff friends drive in Durham?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes, but he was right. I had only bought the Maserati after my friend, Sam had bought one too. He just looked over at me and smirked. He then started the car and started driving it. He smiled even wider as he begun to drive, “This is a great car, Jon. You always did have the best taste.”

I smiled at that. 

Robb smiled and then said, “I can’t really explain to you what’s happened over the past year and honestly I shouldn’t. To be perfectly honest with you Jon, you abandoned your family and now you’ve come back. Why, Jon? Why are you back? To smile in our faces and pretend that you give a shit about us, only to go back to Durham in September and forget that any of us exist? You’ve got a lot of nerve coming back here and demanding answers about what’s going, because you would know that if you had kept in touch with YOUR FUCKING FAMILY!”

I held my breath when he screamed. He had never screamed at me before, not once. Any time he was upset with me, he would sit me down and calmly explain to me why he was mad. But I guess I lost that privilege when I left. I guess I lost a lot of privileges when I left. 

Robb made a sharp turn after he crossed passed the gate and I was a little scared that the car ride was a premeditated murder/suicide. He then continued to berate me with his words (all of which I wholeheartedly deserved), “I fucking loved you, Jon! I was ready to tell the whole world how much I loved you, cousin or not, I didn’t care. I told you that the night after commencement and the next fucking morning you had left! I called and called and called you but you couldn’t even answer my calls.” Then he very calmly asked, “I know for a fact that your course at Durham didn’t start until September, so what were you doing for two months?”

“I was in London.”

Clearly Robb didn’t like that answer. “That’s what upsets me the most about, Jon. You act like you care about me and my family and you pretend as if we matter, but clearly we don’t. We were just a distraction to you. The first chance you got, you ran back to England and your toff friends. Clearly I was just a bit of fun for you.”

Now that upset me. “I let you vent because you were upset with me and you should be, but don’t pretend like I didn’t love you, because you know that I did. Fuck, I still do. I just wasn’t ready Robb. And I don’t know why you keep acting like I’m some toff that doesn’t care about anything but money, because you know that’s not true Robb. You know me.”

He scoffed, “I used to know you.” Then, he pulled the car over. I was about to protest, but then a pair of lips crashed against mine. He tasted like candy floss and ice cream. He was still a good kisser that much was true. He pulled back and just looked at me. “I know those posh boys from London can’t love you like I can.” He paused and muttered, “Get out.”

“What?”

“I said get out of the car, Jon. You need to walk home.”

I then pointed out the obvious, “This is my fucking car. You walk home!”

He looked at me and said, “I want you to walk back home and think about what you want. I won’t let you hurt me like you did before. I’ll leave the keys to the Maserati on the driver’s seat. If you really want to be with me, I’ll see you at dinner. And if not….” His voice broke and he wiped a tear from his face, “if not, then goodbye Jon.” I climbed out of the car, giving him some time to be alone. 

God. 

What had happened?


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter completely comprised of past events, detailing Jon and Robb's relationship and how they got to where they are in the story.

3\. 

(Flashback Chapter, roughly two years ago)

“Are you leaving today Jon?” 

I turned my head and looked at the boy speaking. It was my roommate, Pyp. Pyp’s father was a Baronet and his mother was a banking phenomenon. She had made more than any man had in the banking sectors of London. Plus, she was really fit. Pyp was pretty nice to me, to everyone, at least when he could be.

I closed my trunk and answered his question, “Yes, I'm off. My chauffeur will be taking me to Edinburgh in an hour or so. And you, Pyp? When you will you venture home?”

He shrugged, “I’m not quite sure yet. I think I’m going to spend some time in Ibiza with my girlfriend. Avoid the parents for a bit.” I bit my lip. Most of the boys at Eton College had some sort of difficult relationship to their parents. It might be the poshest school in all of Great Britain, but that didn’t stop the resentment of being sent away from their own families. Of course, I sent myself to Eton. Uncle Ned and Aunt Cat and Robb and Sansa and all of them had told me that I could stay with them during the year, go to school in Scotland. But I sent myself away as a punishment for a crime that I had imagined that I had committed.

I grabbed my trunk and hugged Pyp. “Just one more year, old boy. I’ll see you in September.”

Pyp nodded. “I’ll see you then, Jon.” As I walked out of the door, I closed it behind me. Something about the last day at school was just so perfect and I could appreciate it more and more every year. Pickups were always at the North Gate and it was only a quick march from my boarding house. I neglected to tell Pyp that I wouldn’t be rooming with him next term, as I would be in the King’s Scholars dormitory. But I would let him know that later on.

On my way to the North Gate, I decided to make a stop in the main hall, just to eat one of those candies that they handed out on the last day. As soon as I stepped into the hall, I heard a loud “Jon! Over here!” I turned to see who the voice came from and it was none other than Loras Tyrell. Loras wasn’t particularly smart, but he was very handsome and very popular. He was the head of this group of popular, handsome, bisexual toffs at Eton. I think Loras and his friends had always thought I was a perfect fit for their group and I was certain that it bewildered them that I avoided them all as much as possible.

I reluctantly headed over to where Loras and his mates were sitting. In no particular order, Loras sat at the head of the table, with Aenys Frey, Martin Lannister, Trystane Martell, and Robyn Arryn. Loras stood as I arrived. He shook my hand and patted me on the back as if we were old friends.

He smiled at me with his perfect white teeth and asked, “Going so soon? Trystane’s uncle runs a whorehouse in Amsterdam. The mates and I are taking my jet and going over tonight to reward ourselves for all our hard work this term. You should join us, Jon.”

I never knew what it was that made Loras Tyrell want to be my mate. He had wanted to be my mate since the first year and he wouldn’t let up. In theory, he was right. By all the rules and regulations of how things work in the world of toffs, I was supposed to be friends with the fun, popular, and the aristocratically rich kids, not the smart boys like Pyp and Sam. But I’ve never been a subscriber to rules. They’ve never done anything for me and I would never allow them to affect my life or force me to be friends with a toff like Loras.

“Sorry mate, my driver’s taking me to Scotland as soon as I walk past those gates.”

He frowned for a half second, and then recovered his relatively fake smile. “No worries, Jon. Summer’s very long, plenty of time for us to catch up with each other. Maybe you’ll invite me and the boys up to your uncle’s castle this summer. Your uncle is a duke, right?”

I nodded. “Yes, he’s a duke. And if you and the boys happen to be in Lauder, Scotland, then be sure to give me a ring. You boys are welcome at the castle.” It was ironic, because Loras and his band of cronies were anything but welcome at Thirlestane. I was simply making a completely empty gesture in hopes to rush the conversation along; my chauffeur was waiting after all.

Loras clapped me on the back. “Well I’m glad to know that we’re all welcome at yours. Will you come to mine this summer? I’m in Hertfordshire, but I’m sure you already knew that. It’s called Highgarden Court. I’m having a birthday party on July 28th. Will you come?”

No no no no no. I hated those sorts of events and that was the precise reason why I wasn’t friends with people like Loras in the first place. Besides, I hated planning for things that would take place weeks in advance.

“I don’t know about all that Loras, I’ll have to let you know later on. Don’t hold your breath about it though.”

He rolled his eyes at me, completely dismissing my statement. “Jon! We both know that’s just a polite way of saying no. Promise me you’ll be there.” He paused and looked at me. After gazing upon my skeptical face, he continued. “My older brother Willas is a professor at Oxford and he’s a nerd just like you. He’d probably write you a reference letter too. My other older Garlan is an F1 driver. He’d let you have a ride in his car if I told him too. Oh and my sister Margaery, she’s a year younger, goes to Ecole de Roches in France. She’s a total social climber; she’d love to get her hands on a multi-millionaire like you. Come to my party.”

Nothing he had said had made the party anymore enticing than before. If anything, it sounded less and less like something that I was interested in being involved in. However, I decided that if I just told him yes and cancelled later, he would leave me alone and I could start on my way back to Thirlestane. 

“Fine Loras. I’ll come to your party. I’ll probably have to spend the night though, you know I don’t live near you.”

A creepy smile etched across his face and he just raised an eyebrow. “That’s no problem, that’s no problem at all. I’ll see you then, Jon.” He gave me an unnecessary hug and as I turned away, a hard slap landed on my arse. Instead of turning around and decking him (which he would have deserved) I decided to keep walking away. There was no chance of me going to his party anyway, so at worst the next time I would be him was the start of next term. At best, he would fall off the face of the Earth. But that’s just wishful thinking.

Mr. Selmy was the head bulter at the estate, back in Derbyshire. But the estate didn’t exist anymore and he was no longer a butler. He rebranded himself as my personal chauffeur for reasons that were beyond me. However, I decided that it would be unwise and uncouth for me to mention it. I think that Mr. Selmy was just very devoted to my family and I was the last of my family left. I really did feel for the chap. Maybe I could set him up with a girlfriend or something. Or a boyfriend, I didn’t know what he liked. 

“Master Jon!” He exclaimed as he saw me. I hated that he still called me that. It sounded like something out of Downton Abbey. I extended my hand for him to shake and he took it. “Always a pleasure, Mr. Selmy.” He chuckled and shook his head, “Master Jon, I've told you that it’s perfectly fine for you to call me Barristan. I’d prefer it, actually.”

I nodded and he continued, “You’re starting to look just like your father, you know.” I gave a polite nod, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. I looked like my mother. I had her dark hair and slender body. My father was broad and blonde. I did have his handsome looks though, if I do say so myself.

He had said it before and now he was saying it again. I had tried to call him Barristan now and again, but I could never truly take to it. I didn’t like calling adults by their given name. It made me uncomfortable. Anyway, he took my bag and placed it into the trunk. He opened the door to the backseat and I sat in it. I looked and saw that the partition was already in place. I laid down on the soft leather and closed my eyes, taking a well deserved nap.

I awoke to the sound of sirens. “What the….” I muttered, looking around in confusion. “Master Jon! Are you alright?” Mr. Selmy had rolled down the partition and was staring at me with big eyes. I shrugged and muttered, “I’m fine. What’s up? Are we here?”

He shook his head. “No sir. We’ve had an accident. Some yank driving on the wrong side of the road.”

I groaned. “Well are you alright, Barristan?”

He nodded. “Thank you for your concern, Master Jon, but I’m fine sans a headache. Unfortunately, I’ll have to speak to some police men and this vehicle won’t be safe for me to drive anymore. It would be best for you to call your Uncle Ned and tell him what’s happened.

I nodded. “Well if you’re going to be here, I’ll go into town; maybe buy a chocolate croissant or something. Would you like something.”

He shook his head. I sighed and stepped out of the car.

I had forgotten to ask him where we were. I walked down the streets of some strange, unknown town in my Eton uniform (which, in hindsight, I had plenty of time to take off). Most of the time, I could at least tell what country I was in, whether it be England or Scotland or otherwise, but something about the town was indiscernible. Despite that being somewhat annoying, I could appreciate the ambiguity.

After a good 17 minutes of aimless walking, I found a store that at least appeared to be a coffee shop. Unlike the plebes in Oxfordshire, no one turned to look at me when I walked in. I stepped up to the main counter and ordered. “Hello, may I have a chocolate croissant?”

The girl working the counter rolled her eyes at me. “We don’t serve that here. You can probably buy some off that shit for toffs in Newcastle, where you came from.”

I was taken aback. I had never been spoken to like that before. “Well first of all sweetheart, I’m not from Newcastle. Second of all, you don’t have to be rude about it. Just say you don’t sell chocolate croissants and move on.”

She raised her left eyebrow and got a bit loud. “I’m sick of seeing rich boys like you telling me what to do!”

I was about to retort, but a large reheaded man walked over. “Ygritte! Don’t upset the customers. Especially not the rich ones.” He turned to me and smiled, “Hi sir, I’m Tormund, this is my shop. What seems to be the problem?”

I sighed out of frustration and exhaustion. “I just want a chocolate croissant. Do you sell those here? She says you don’t.”

He frowned and answered, “Yes, we do in fact. I’ll give you two for your trouble.” The man turned around and grabbed two chocolate croissants, put them in a box, and then put the box in a bag. He turned around smiling. “Here you go, lad.”

I took the bag and asked, “What do I owe you?”

“Nothing. It’s free, for your troubles.”

I shook my head. I grabbed my wallet from my pocket and placed a ten pound note onto the counter. “I don’t take handouts.”

When I walked out of the store, I pulled out my phone and proceeded to call Uncle Ned, as Mr. Selmy had suggested. It took three rings for him to answer. He wasn’t a busy man, he spent most of his time spending time with the kids and his wife and looking after the estate. He was the sort of Duke that didn’t have to work or anything, but he was good and kind and down to Earth. Besides, he let me stay with him and the family at Thirlestane when my parents died and despite the fact that I inherited millions, he hasn’t asked for a dime. In fact, if I did chores around the castle, I g0t an allowance, just like his own kids did. A good man, through and through.

“Jon, nice to hear from you. Are you on your way?” Uncle Ned had a sort of deep voice that boomed, even through the phone.

“Uh, not exactly. Mr. Selmy, the chauffeur, and I got in a car accident. We’re stranded.”

“Are the two of you alright?”

“We’re both fine, just a little shook up. He said that the vehicle wouldn’t be able to go any further, that it’s all torn up now. We can’t go any further.”

I heard him sigh. “Well where are you two now?”

“Uhh, one second.” I didn’t actually know where we were and quite frankly, I should have asked someone. I looked up and saw someone walking in front of me, so I asked. “Hi, can you tell me what town I’m in?”

I saw two brows furrow in confusion, but then answer. “Berwick-upon-Tweed.”

“Apparently we are in Berwick-upon-Tweed.”

“Oh, I know where that is. That’s not more 35 miles away from Thirlestane. The wife and I are in Aberdeen at the moment for some private time, but Robb’s 17 and he can pick you up. I’ll call him.” Then he added, “Oh and be sure to stay put, wherever you are. Be sure to text me your address so Robb can come straight to where you are and pick you up.” 

“Okay, I understand.”

“Okay. I love you, Jon.”

In all honestly, him saying that made me uncomfortable. I knew he meant it and I knew he looked at me as if I were his own son, but it just made me miss my own father all the more.

“I love you too, Uncle Ned.”

He hung up the phone and I sighed. I turned to look at the address of the store I had just walked out of, then texted it to Robb. I hoped he’d get there fast.

I was sitting on the curb in front of the store when I heard a rude Scottish man yell, “Hey! How much quid to fuck you, pretty boy?”

I knew he was talking to me. I looked up from my phone and was about to tell the arsehole off, when I looked up and saw that it was Robb, being stupid.

“You dumb fuck.” I muttered angrily. “I almost kicked your arse for saying that.”

He shrugged, “It’s a good thing you didn’t kick my arse, then. I am your ride back home, if you haven’t forgotten. C’mon Jon, get in. I can’t leave the car in the middle of the street forever.”

I didn’t like his comment, but he was right. It would be wrong of me to hold up traffic, so I climbed into the passenger seat of the car. He smiled at me and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Are you mad at me for my comment just now? Look Jon, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Just wanted a laugh. Do you forgive me?”

I reluctantly nodded. “Anyway, keep straight on this road. That’s where the accident happened. Mr. Selmy and the vehicle should be a five to ten minute drive, I think.” Then I added, “Thanks for picking me up.”

He shrugged. “Of course mate, I’m always happy to see my favorite toff.”

I rolled my eyes, “You’ll be a duke someday, but I’m the toff just because I go to Eton. Funny how that works.”

He smiled. “Yes, very funny. Anyway, although I’m always happy to see you Jon, I was with Talisa. And you know she doesn’t like to be disturbed.”

I groaned. Talisa was Robb’s new girlfriend. They’d started dating last November and when I had come back for holiday break, he spent all of his time with her and not me. Robb’s friend from his state school, Theon Greyjoy, had introduced them. I didn’t hate Theon, but I didn’t love him either. I always suspected that he saw me as Robb’s rich cousin that was connected and could help him out. 

“Yes, yes. I’m sure Talisa doesn’t like to be disturbed during sex. Blah, blah, blah.”

He actually cackled at my comment. “You’re right, you know. She hates being disturbed during sex!” He then added, “I don’t care though, I’d much rather spend time with you then have sex with her.” He sighed. “Plus, she’s fucking around on me.”

“What? How do you know?”

He didn’t answer at first. He took a pause and said, “I saw her with my own eyes. She was giving Jimmy (ya know, the one whose dad hit on mum that one time) a handjob behind the school.”

Honestly, I wasn’t surprised. Talisa always did seem like one of the girls that would sneak into Eton in the dark of night. She wasn’t good enough for Robb anyway.

“Why are you still seeing her then?”

A smirk crept across his face. “Just want to get my revenge.” Then he started to do a fake maniacal laugh. “Here, there’s Mr. Selmy. Pull over.”

Robb did ask I asked. We both got out of the car. Robb shook Mr. Selmy’s hand and said, “Jon says you won’t be able to get the car anywhere any time soon. If you want, my father says that you’re more than welcome to stay at Thirlestane for as long as you need.”

Mr. Selmy smiled, but shook his head. “That is a very nice offer, but I’ve got a dog at home that needs to be fed sooner rather than later. Now that you’ll provide Master Jon with a safe passage home, I’ll just get the train from Newcastle to London. Of course, I’m not quite certain how I’ll get to Newcastle.”

I turned to Robb and said, “Hail Mr. Selmy a cab.” Robb nodded and then I grabbed the checkbook from my back pocket and wrote Mr. Selmy a check from £500. I handed it to Mr. Selmy. He opened his mouth to protest, but I stopped him before he could. “Don’t protest, please. You've continuously gone out of your way to help. I think that it’s high time I learned to drive on my own. But how about I come and visit you in London and you come and visit me at Thirlestane from time to time. We’re the only thing we’ve got left out the past.”

He blinked back some tears, but nodded. “You’re right, Master Jon; we are the only thing we’ve got left of the past. I tell you, your parents would be so proud of you. I know I’m certainly proud of you. You were always a good boy, but you’ve grown to be a fine young man.”

Robb, somewhat surprisingly, successfully hailed a cab. “Goodbye then.” I said. Mr. Selmy nodded back at me and he was off. I cocked my head towards Robb’s truck and we made our back over to it and we got in. Robb started it and we were on our way.

“Fuck.” I muttered.

“What’s wrong?”

I shrugged. “Nothing really, I just left my trunk in the back of the vehicle. It’s on its way to the car repair now. I didn’t have anything important in it, just some clothes.”

“Don’t worry mate, you can wear my clothes if you want. As a matter of fact, I’d like it if you wore my clothes.” I was just about to ask him what he meant by that, but then he changed the subject. “We could hurry back to Thirlestane, but I wouldn’t mind staying here for a few more hours. How about we head to the beach?”

I rolled my eyes. “Robb, I’m in my uniform. I can’t go to the beach like this.”

Robb smirked and then mimicked my accent saying, “Just strip down to your knickers in that case.”

“I’m cold and those girls over there keep giving me strange looks.”

Robb laughed. “Well you are wearing knickers at the beach. And as for the birds, they just think you’re fit.”

The girls waved at me and I waved back. Robb smirked. “So, have you messed around with any posh birds at Eton? I bet you know some of the poshest girls on the planet.”

Truth be told, I didn’t really know that many girls. I didn’t hang in the right circles to know girls. However, I did know some boys. Mutual masturbation here, making out there, and blowjob in the showers, that sort of thing. Sometimes it can get very lonely at boarding school, away from everyone. You make do.

“I don’t know that many girls. Why, looking for a new girlfriend?” I teased.

He shook his head. “No, I was just wondering if there was some bird I needed to be jealous of.”

I opened my mouth to ask what that meant, but I found his tongue in mouth. I smacked his face in retaliation. “So fucking posh.” He muttered.

“What are you doing, Robb? We’re cousins. We can’t.”

He shrugged and kissed me again. He was a good kisser, beyond a shadow of doubt. “I love you Jon. Do you love me too?”

I nodded, “I love you too, Robb.”

He smiled. “Will you be my boyfriend? We don’t have to tell anyone right now. We can keep it as our little secret. It’s no one’s business but ours.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck. He was right. What we did was no one’s business. Besides, I was far from the first toff to fall in love with his cousin.

(A Few Weeks Later, at Loras Tyrell’s Birthday Party)

“Name?” A man at the front asked. He was big brawny man, with an accent that was certainly Eastern European.

“I’m Jon Targaryen.”

He looked on the list and nodded. “Your name is here, but it doesn’t say you can have a plus one.” I turned to Sansa and her mouth was wide open in shock. The entire reason that the two of us had even come to the party was because Sansa had begged me to come. Fuck. What to do……

“Loras won’t mind her being here, I know he won’t. He’s my mate. We’re mates from Eton. I could ask him to come out here and sort this, but that would only annoy him. And tonight is his 18th birthday. Do you think really think that Loras wants to be bothered tonight, of all nights? If I tell him you gave me trouble, it could be a big problem for you.”

He squinted at me. I was completely bluffing. At best, I would call Loras and pray that he would answer me and come and help me at the front door. But my bluffing paid off when the man said, “Fine. You too go in. But if I get into any trouble for you bringing the girl, I’ll find you and make you regret it. Got that?”

I nodded. The man stepped aside and we entered in the estate. Loras’s family was very rich and powerful and they had been that way for 300 years. Plenty of MPs and scholars had bore the name Tyrell. Of course, Loras would never be an MP and at best, he would be given a job at the family company, due to nepotism. At worst, he would just marry an heir with a butt load of money. Hm. Someone like me. My family, the Targaryens, was just as old and just as renowned. But I was the last Targaryen left and with the way my affections leaned, it appeared that I would be the final Targaryen ever.

Sansa smiled widely at the view of the party. It was the sort of life that she wanted for herself. She didn’t want to live on an old Scottish castle for the rest of her life. No, she wanted to see things and experience life. I couldn’t blame her for that. That was the only reason that I came to the party and brought her with me. She was entitled to experiencing things that were different and new to her. I wanted that for her, I desperately did.

“HOLY FUCK! IT’S JON FUCKING TARGARYEN!” Some idiot yelled. I turned around and saw that it was one of the Frey twins, the one whose name I could never remember. I just smiled back at him and nodded. Suddenly a pretty girl appeared with two champagne flutes in her hands.

“Aenys, leave them be. Isn’t there a beer that you should be drinking?”

That was his name. Aenys. Well, Aenys turned around and left. Then the girl handed one champagne flute to me and the other to Sansa. “My name is Margaery Tyrell and you’re Jon Targaryen. We’ve all heard a lot about you.” She turned to Sansa. “What’s your name?”

“Sansa Stark. I’m Jon’s cousin.”

Margaery nodded. “Well Jon, Loras is upstairs in his bedroom and it would be awesome if you went and got him. I’d go fetch him myself but I’ve been permanently banned from his room. I’ll take good care of Sansa in the meantime.”

I squinted in suspicion, but I acquiesced. It wasn’t like Loras was going to kill me when I went upstairs. “Where are the stairs?”

Margaery pointed. “All the way in the back, far right.”

I nodded and went for it. I figure that the faster I made it to Loras’s room, the faster I could get him to come downstairs, and then faster Sansa and I could leave. Besides, she was getting whatever arbitrary posh experience that she had wanted while I was fetching Loras. Hell, we could probably have caught a train back to Scotland within the hour. 

I knocked on Loras’s door. “Who is it?” a voice (probably one that belonged to Loras) asked.

“It’s Jon, Jon Targaryen. Your sister sent me up. Asked me to come fetch you.”

Almost immediately, the door sprang open. As soon as he saw me, his face spread into a smile. “Jon!” He exclaimed. “I was worried that you weren’t going to show. Come in.”

The door opened and I walked into his room. It was about the same size as mine had been, back at the Derbyshire estate, but it was far larger than the room I had at Thirlestane. Also, Loras was only wearing his knickers.

“Can I sit on the bed?” I asked. I had been moving about for a while at that point and I was eager to rest. He nodded. “Go ahead.” I sat down on the bed. It was very comfortable. Another thing about Loras, he really did have excellent taste. He probably had the linens handpicked and designed to his own liking. Even his knickers, though widely inappropriate were perfectly fitted to his body. Did he wear fitted underwear? I should hope not. That would be weird.

“Was Highgarden easy enough for you to find? Some people have some trouble finding it?” Loras asked. He made his way over to the bed and laid down on it, dangerously close to where I was sitting. I shook my head, though, trying to remember the fact that I had a boyfriend. Beyond that, in all the years that Loras Tyrell and I had gone to school together, I had always thought of his as a simpleton and as someone who wasn’t worth my energy. Now that he was undressed, he was still the same annoying boy he had always been, fit or not. Fit.

“I didn’t have any trouble at all. I just gave the driver man the directions here and he found it easily. No problems whatsoever, but thank you for your concern.”

He nodded, his blond curls shaking. “So why do you hate me, Jon?”

My neck snapped over to him. “What are you talking about?” I knew then that Loras was about to embark on a series of equally obnoxious and hyperbolic lies to make a point that would only prove to be completely nonsensical. Basically, he would spout bullshit like he had diarrhea at the mouth.

“You never talk to me at Eton! I don’t understand it either. For years, you’ve tortured me with your beauty. You are like a radiant sun, shining upon all those who see you. But one can never touch you, you would burn them. Be mine Jon, don’t you realize what a couple we’d make? There wouldn’t be a single boy at Eton who would be so jealous of me.”

I was certain that his last statement was the furthest thing from the truth. Plus, he had proved my earlier theory: that he would begin to starting spouting bullshit as if he had diarrhea at the mouth. “Loras, this is all the very flattering, but I have a boyfriend and he’s very good to me and kind and special. I wouldn’t betray him for the likes of you. Not today not ever.”

Loras rolled his eyes at me. “Strangely, I doubt that you have a boyfriend, Jon. And even if you did, you wouldn’t have come here tonight if he was treating you right.”

I was appalled. Was he trying to use some strange sort of reverse psychology? “What are you talking about? You asked me to come here!”

“Maybe I did, but I definitely slapped your arse too! I think you have always known how I feel about you, even if you have tried to ignore. You’ve always known that I liked you. You just like to punish and punish and punish me.” He continued in a louder tone, “And now you come here to my room, sans gift, and tell me that you’re not even a little bit interested in me? C’mon Jon, what sort of bullshit is that?”

I felt myself flop down on the bed. It was so soft, so I told him that. “Your bed is so soft. These linens are superb. You truly do have excellent taste.”

Next, I felt soft lips against my neck. I didn’t tell him to continue, but I also didn’t stop him. Then, his hands moved and began to unbutton my shirt. He whispered into my ear, “I’ll make you forget all about your little boyfriend Jon. I've been waiting so long for this.”

(Roughly 11 Months Later, after Robb’s Commencement Party at Thirlestane about 11:53 at night)

“Why would you wait until tonight to tell me that you and him fucked” Robb all but yelled at me. “You’ve had so many chances, over and over and over again to be honest with me. To come clean and now you do it, almost a year later.”

I don’t know why I had told him. It just came spilling out of me. “We didn’t actually fuck, Robb, we kissed a bit and sucked each other off, if we’re being serious. But the only man that I’ve ever let make love to me is you, Robb.”

He huffed, clearly unsatisfied with my answer. “Then you fucking went back to fucking Eton College with him. You fucking called me every single night and we would talk over the phone. Tell me, did you let him suck you off before or after you talked to me? Huh? Answer me!”

I had never seen Robb so angry before. He had every right to be. I was wrong and I had been wrong for a long time. I just wanted to come clean. “I only cheated on you once, I swear it. The only time that I ever stepped outside the relationship was that night at the party. I’ve never done anything else with anyone, including Loras, after that.”

Robb spat at the ground. “Don’t fucking say his name to me. I don’t want to ever hear that fucking prick’s name again.” Then he asked, “Are you in love with him?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m not. You’re the only person that I’ve ever felt for. I’ve never felt anything for anyone else ever, I swear it.”

His fists were completely balled up. I was a little scare, I won’t lie. But even if he hit me, which I knew he wouldn’t, it wouldn’t changed what had happened. “What the fuck Jon? I mean really, what the fuck? What the fuck do you expect me to do with this information? Do you want me to fucking forgive you so we can move on and pretend like this never fucking happened? I can’t act like you didn’t do it, Jon. I just can’t.”

I bit my lip. “I’m sorry. I mean it. I just didn’t want to lie to you anymore.” Robb walked over to me and while I was a bit worried, I didn’t move an inch. Instead yelling more or hitting me, he just wrapped his hands around me. He hugged me tightly. Then, while hugging me, I heard him start to sob. It was a soft, quiet sob at first, but then it became louder and louder. I felt my back become wet with his tears. Fuck, I thought. It was all my fault. Had it been even more selfish for me to tell Robb than it was for me to experiment with Loras?

He pulled back from the hug and he announced, “I know why you did it. You don’t feel loved. You don’t think I cherish you the way that you deserve to be cherished and you don’t think that I appreciate the way you need to be appreciated. You need to be loved out in the open. Tomorrow, I’ll tell the family about us.”

“What?”

“It’s what you want, Jon, I know it is.”

A few hours later, I found myself packing my trunk. Robb had said that he was going to tell his family about us in the morning. He had clearly lost his mind. How did he think his family would react? Hell, his father was my mother’s brother? Did Robb seriously think that would be endorsed? He was so kind and affectionate, but he could be daft sometimes. Really fucking daft.

I thought of leaving a note on my way out, explaining to him why I was leaving, why I we shouldn’t talk or communicate or see each other again. Why we should just fade into each other’s memories and just be stories for the memoirs, sixty years in the future. I decided against a letter. He might keep it and cling to it and hold to it as his last memory of me. I took everything that I had, just to be sure that he wouldn’t make a shrine out of it. He deserved to have a fresh start, with someone who cared and someone who loved him the way I couldn’t.

Quietly, I crept out of Thirlestane. I looked at it and smiled. Farewell, I thought. I picked up my phone and made a call, “Hey Loras, do you think I could stay with you for three months before university starts………..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments, I really do love to know what you all think. Also, kudos are much appreciated! Anyway, thanks for reading this chapter!


	4. 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the present day, Jon catches up with some people around town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are so appreciated. I really love to hear what people think, if they have suggestions etc. Feel free to let me know how you felt about the chapter.

4\. 

(Present Day)

Although Robb was being dramatic as all hell, I understood the reason why he was being dramatic, especially if it had been as hard for Robb as Arya made it sound. I had really tried to make it easy for him, when I felt. I guess I was wrong though.

I decided to walk through town and head over to Aunt Cat’s bakery. Owning and working in a bakery was far from the most becoming job for a Duchess, but Aunt Cat was never truly that concerned about arbitrary rules. When I saw the bakery, I smiled. Memories of time spent in the summer, stealing cupcakes with Arya and literally inhaling them with Robb. 

A soft bell jingled as I entered into the shop. It was practically empty. Beyond that, it didn’t have Aunt Cat’s name on it. The title of the shop was always “Duchess Bakery.” Now, it was just blank. Also, there was a male and female (both appearing to be in their early 20s) kissing at the counter. Not only was it unprofessional, it was also unsanitary. I cleared my throat in the most obnoxious way possible to let them know that I was there. They jumped back from each other and the man turned out to have a very familiar face.

“Theon.” I said plainly. “You still work here?”

He nodded, “Yep. That’s what happens when you don’t have rich parents to take care of everything for you. It’s nice to see you, though.”

The dark haired girl at his side cleared her throat and Theon rolled his eyes. “Jon, this is my ….. well this is Kyra. And Kyra, this is Jon.”

Her eyes widened, “Robb’s cousin Jon? The one whose parents died in a fire and left him with millions?” 

I frowned. She was right of course, but no one ever said it to me like that and no one ever spoke to me like that either. People rarely talked to me about my parents deaths’ and I genuinely preffered it that way. 

“Don’t crowd the rich friend! Kyra, leave! ” Theon yelled. She rolled her eyes, but did as he told. Behind his back, though, she made the “call me” signal. Theon sighed. “Sorry about that, kid. I’ll get us a batch of cupcakes and we can catch up. Have a seat at the booth, just there.” I nodded and went, although the person that I wanted to eat cupcakes and catch up with was my Aunt Cat, not Theon.

I sat down at the booth and Theon came shortly behind me, with a batch of cupcakes. He sat the down at the table and then took a seat. I grabbed one and tasted it. At the very least, it still tasted like the ones Aunt Cat used to make. “So, how’s Durham? I heard that its crowded with posh Oxbridge rejects.”

Hm. Rude, but far from untrue. However, I grinned and asked, “Who told you that?”

“Robb.”

That made me frown, but it did sound like something Robb would say. Plus, I remembered him saying it to my face. “Anyway, where’s Aunt Cat? And why is the name down?”

Theon shuffled uncomfortably before he continued. “I would have thought someone had told you, but I guess not. She’s living with her sister Lysa and her husband, Jon, in Devonshire. You went to school with their son, Robyn, right?”

I nodded. That didn’t make any sense. I knew her sister, Lysa: she was definitely missing a screw or too and more importantly, I knew her son Robyn: he was one of Loras’s cronies and I couldn’t recall if it was him or his roommate that sold LSD back at Eton. “Why would she be living with Lysa? What’s going on?”

Theon placed his hand on his head and whispered, “She and Ned have been having some problems lately. They’re not getting on.”

What? That didn’t make any sense. Uncle Ned and Aunt Cat were the happiest couple on this side of the English Channel. “What sort of problems?”

Theon shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m just telling you what Robb told me and he didn’t say much about it, either.” Then he squinted and changed the subject, “Anyways, have you seen Robb yet?”

I nodded. “Yes, I’ve seen him.”

Theon raised an eyebrow at me. “Was he nice to you?”

I shrugged. Some people would describe his behaviour as not so nice, but he was only doing what he thought was best. “He was kind enough.”

Theon squinted again and the moved over the table. He then whispered into my ear, “I know about you and Robb. He told me EVERYTHING.”

I jumped back in shock. Arya knew, Theon knew, had he been telling everyone while I was gone? Theon rolled his eyes, “I'm the only one he’s told, if that’s what you’re thinking about.”

I shook my head. “That can’t be true. Arya made a comment earlier. She definitely knows too.”

Theon shrugged flippantly. “Well if she knows, Robb didn’t tell her.”

Whatever. “What did he tell you about it?”

Theon stared at me for a bit and then moved to eat another cupcake. When he was done, he stated: “He didn’t really say much about it. He only said that you two had been somewhat involved for about a year, then you told he that you had cheated on him with some random, and then he said that you had run off in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye.”

Well damn. That’s pretty accurate. Theon continued in wake of my silence. “I always suspected you could be a bit of a prick. You never gave me a second though, because I work your aunt and my family’s full of fishermen, but I never would have thought that you could be such a prick to Robb. Robb didn’t deserve that and you know it.” Theon licked the icing off his fingernails. “You should have seen the poor kid. Crying and such. He actually became dehydrated from crying so fucking much. That’s some fucked up shit there. Where were you when that happened? Huh? While Robb was detoriating, where the fuck where you?”

I was in Mayfair in London, with Loras Tyrell, smoking weed and having sex for three months straight. I tried to justify it by telling myself that Loras wouldn’t have let me stay with him for free if I wasn’t having sex with him, but that wasn’t the case. I was enjoying myself. Besides, I would have been perfectly able to afford my own place if I so chose. 

“I was in London.”

Theon rolled his eyes, he clearly knew there was more to the story. “If that’s your story, fine. But I’m sure you were having a damn better time than Robb was. Did you know that he moved out? He has a nice flat in Edinburgh now and he lets me sleep in the guest bedroom. He told me that he couldn’t stay in a house that held so many memories of you and him. He said that he couldn’t focus, that it was driving his head crazy. And the reason that he’s so buff now? He started exercising and working out every single day to try to do something productive with his frustrations.” Theon just shook his head. “Hey Jon. Answer me this: why are you back? Really, why are you back?”

I couldn’t even answer that question for myself. I had no reason to come back for more than a quick stop, but I had decided that I was going to stay for the entire summer. 

I didn’t answer his question and Theon just shook his head. “I’m not going to try to be the protective best mate, because that’s not the kind of guy I am. But let me say this, if you hurt him again, I’ll have no choice but to fuck you up. And because of the way the world works, I’d go to jail for the rest of my life for assaulting a toff like you. But as sure as my name is Theon Greyjoy, it would be worth it.” He bit his lip and asked, “You know he’s still in love with you right? You realize that you could have him back in a second, if you wanted.”

I knew that. Theon opened his mouth to say more, but someone walked in the door. I didn’t look up at the person; I was still reeling from what Theon had said. But I heard a familiar voice ask, “Jon? Is that you?”

I looked up and it was Aunt Cat herself. “Aunt Cat?” I jumped up and gave her a hug. “It’s so nice to see you?”

Theon rolled his eyes and backed off to give us some space. She smiled at me. “I’m glad to see you back in these parts, darling. Where are you headed now?”

I shrugged. “Nowhere really. I was about to try to catch up with Robb. He stole my Maserati.”

She laughed at that comment. “Well I’m headed to Robb’s flat anyway, I wanted to drop some of his things off, I’ll take you.”

I nodded and she led me out to her minivan. She had always driven a minivan, she was always that sort of mother, but I had never seen it when it was chock full of children. I wanted to ask her what was going on, but I couldn’t find the words. So I used the tactics that Master Lucas had taught in that Interrogation class I took at Eton.

“So after you drop me at Robb’s where will you go?”

She didn’t answer at first and I think she knew what I was asking. “I’ll be driving back to England tonight.”

I sighed. So it was true and Theon wasn’t lying. If I kept asking her dumb questions, she would probably get frustrated enough to just come out and tell me the whole truth. “Why are you go back to England?”

She became frustrated with my questions much sooner than I had anticipated. “Jon, I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Ned and I are separated.”

Seperated?

She continued, “Things were really bad this past year for the Stark family as a whole. You left and Robb left shortly after. Sansa got involved with a guy who wasn’t very nice to her. Bran can’t walk anymore and-“

I cut her off. “BRAN CAN’T WALK ANYMORE?”

She nodded solemnly. “I keep forgetting that you’ve been out of the loop. He was in an accident, Jon; he has to use a wheelchair to get around.”

I slumped down in my seat. I didn’t even know that Bran was in an accident. I had been away too long. “Is Bran back at Thirlestane? I hadn’t seen him yet.”

She shook her head, “Bran and Rickon are with Lysa and Jon in Devon. Ned and I agreed that he gets Arya and Sansa and I get Bran and Rickon. Robb’s not a child anymore, so we didn’t include him. As a matter of fact, I was looking into some schools for the boys. Hey, tell me, what do you think about King’s School Canterbury?”

The rest of the conversation was merely idle banter, none of which I was particularly interested in. I liked Aunt Cat very much, but I had never been so excited to get away from someone in my entire life. I couldn’t fathom why she was taking Bran and Rickon away from their home, their family? They had never known anything else but Scotland and now she was trying to force them to go to boarding school in England? At the very least, I was lucky the car ride was only 30 minutes long. When we arrived outside, she gave me a hug. She then turned around and handed me a few things. “Here’s his kilt, I know he’s been missing it dearly. And here’s his guitar.” I had forgotten that Robb could play the guitar. He was good at it too. And as for the kilt, I recalled reaching under it on one hot July day and having my wicked way with him. 

She smiled at me. “I don’t know when I’ll see you next, but you take care of yourself, ok?” Then she added, “His flat number is 13C.”

It took me a few minutes of standing outside his door to get up the courage to actually knock. When I finally knocked, he answered almost immediately.

He raised an eyebrow, “I'm surprised to see you here. I had intended to throw you off a bit and see you later at dinner.”

I shrugged. “I ran into your mother. Speaking of which, she told me to give you this kilt and the guitar?”

Robb smirked as I handed them to him. “This kilt has certainly seen some fun times, hasn’t it?”

I nodded, smiling. “It certainly has.” Then I asked, “May I come in?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know about that. Do you have an answer to my question from earlier?”

“I want to be with you Robb, but maybe this time around we can act as if it’s all brand new. Maybe you’ll stay here and I’ll stay at Thirlestane and we can act like we’re meeting for the first time. We’ll take it slow this time, do it right. How does that sound?”

He just sighed. “I can take it slow with you if that’s what you need, but I can’t pretend that it’s brand new, because it is not. We’ve been at it for the better part of a lustrum. But I don’t have a problem with taking it slow.” I nodded. I leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “May I come in?” I asked again.

This time, he said “Sure, love. Of course you can come in. You’re always welcome.”


	5. 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robb sets the record straight between him and Jon.

5.

“Did you say if you still liked hot chocolate? I can’t remember if you told me or not.”

I looked up and smiled. I was surprised that he still remembered that. I used to adore the taste of the hot chocolate that Robb made. He really did make the best hot chocolate ever and the last time I had any it didn’t compare to Robb’s.

I nodded, “I still love hot chocolate. No one makes it like you do.” He smiled that and he was so handsome when he smiled. He was so handsome when he did anything. 

I stood up and moved over to the island in the center of his kitchen. He went over to the cupboard and began to get to work. I never really knew how he had learned to make hot chocolate so well, but it was anything but wise to question it.

While the water was warming up, he turned to me and sat at one of the chairs at the island. He smiled, “You’re so pretty, Jon. You’ve always been pretty.” I blushed and he continued. “I really missed you, love. More than you could possibly understand. This past year….it was hell without you. Swear to me that you won’t ever try something like that again. I promise if you do, I’ll hunt you down.” It was clear to me that he meant to say the last part in a joking way, but it came out sounding very serious and I knew he meant what he said. I nodded to him in attempt to ease his mind. “No matter what happens, I won’t leave like that ever again. I swear it.”

He nodded slowly, as if he didn’t really believe me. I couldn’t blame if he didn’t believe me either, I had royally fucked him over. The fact that he even allowed me to be in his flat was a testament to Robb’s love and forgiving nature. When the kettle boiled, he stood and poured it into a mug. He then mixed it up with the chocolate and served it to me. He smiled again. I took the mug and tried the hot chocolate and it was perfect.

“It’s a smash, Robb. Truly.”

He nods. “I’m glad you think that, Jon. You always did like my hot chocolates.”

I took another snip and his phone rang. It was lying flat on the counter and I could see perfectly the name of the caller “Satin.” What kind of name was Satin? I was about to ask Robb the very question, but he snatched the phone off the counter and muttered “I’ll be back. Turn on some television or something.” He said it flippantly and I could tell that whoever Satin was, he was important to Robb. He marched off to his bedroom, not wanting me to hear the call.

I had taken my hot chocolate from the kitchen to the living room and I was watching a rerun of “Fat Friends” when he came back into the room. He had been in his room talking to whoever “Satin” was for at least 25 minutes.

He slumped down on the couch next to me, grabbed the remote, and turned the volume up. “I love this episode.” He said, nonchalantly. I wanted to ask him who the hell Satin was, but I realized that I probably didn’t have any right to do so. I had walked out on Robb and I had made his life a living hell, so who was I to ask him who he was talking to? I was coming back into Robb’s life and I had to accommodate him, not the other way around.

Despite all that, I still asked. “Who’s Satin?”

Robb kept his face towards the television. “Just someone from uni.”

Oh. Nothing to worry about then, right? “So, he’s just a mate from school. You two hangout and stuff?”

He still didn’t face. “Nope.” He said. “We mostly just fuck.”

My neck snapped. “What?” I said, suddenly out of breath.

Robb shrugged. “Don’t get yourself all worked up about it. He’s not my boyfriend or anything like that. Like I said, we just fuck.”

The room was suddenly very hot. I asked, scrambling for more information about Satin and their arrangement. “So what did he call you about?”

Robb, still not looking at me, answer in completely monotone. “He asked me what time would be a good time to come over tonight. I told him that I didn’t know what time you would be leaving, so I couldn’t really tell him. But he lives a few blocks down, so he’ll be ready whenever you leave.”

I was outraged. “So he’s going to fuck you as soon as I leave?”

That made Robb laugh. “No, silly. You and I both know that I am a top.” Then he finally turned to me and remarked, “You’re the only guy I would consider bottoming for.”

“Well what if I wanted to have sex with you right now?”

Robb bit his lip. “Well, I don’t think that we should be having sex now anyway. We both are figuring things out between ourselves and adding sex into the mix would only make things more confusing.”

I shook my head. I was so angry, but I felt like I didn’t have the right to be. He was being an asshole, but I deserved it, so I really wasn’t in a position to protest very much. “Well if we’re figuring things out between us, than why are you talking to other guys?”

Robb grabbed the remote and turned the television off and completely turned his body towards mine. “Look baby, I love you. Really, I do. But you broke my heart and I can’t even explain to you how shitty it was. You’ll always be the bloke I love and nothing will change that. But if you think that I’m going to totally rearrange my life just because you’re back and say some pretty words, then you’re daft. When you’ve shown me that you’re serious, then I’ll stop seeing Satin and I’ll ask you to move in and be with me, but until that day comes, we’re going to be keeping it light.” Then he glanced at the clock, then back at me. “It’s getting late. Maybe you should head back over to Thirlestane.”

He fished for the keys to the Maserati. He then pulled them out and shoved them in my chest. I nodded and left. 

He was right; it was time for me to go.


	6. 6.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is told from Robb's point of view, just to clarify some things that were said last chapter.

6.

ROBB POV

I kept a photo of Jon in my wallet. I had kept it there since we had first gotten together, two years ago, and I never took it out. And now, as he left, I looked at it again. Jon had the prettiest face I had ever seen and no one could ever compare to him. I wondered if I would ever see Jon again. He didn’t say much as he left and I knew in my heart, there was a chance that I had pushed him away and for good this time.

Satin texted me to let me know that he was outside my door. I walked and let him in. Satin was handsome, yes, alluring even, and looked a bit like Jon too, but he of course, wasn’t Jon. Satin gave me a hug as he entered. “How are you, mate?” I asked.

He shrugged. He made his way to the kitchen as I close the door. He turned around and asked, “So, where’s Jon? I was really keen on meeting him. Where are you hiding him?”

I frowned. “Oh.” I said. “He’s gone; left a few minutes ago actually.” Then I added, “He probably wouldn’t want to talk to you anyway.”

Satin grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and his head snapped back at me. “Oh yeah? And why would that be?”

I bit my lip, almost afraid to say it. “I sort of told him that we’re fucking.”

Satin’s mouth dropped open. “Robb.” He said calmly. “Why the fuck would you tell him that?”

His voice was very calm, but I could tell that he was very annoyed or maybe even angry with me. I shrugged to him, not really able to give him a straight answer.

He shook his head. “First of all, we both know that’s a damned lie if I ever heard of. You haven’t even been with anyone other than Jon, have you?”

I shook my head in response. The only man I had ever been with was Jon and I hadn’t been with anyone, physically or emotionally, since him. Satin continued, “Besides, you know that I really like Theon and I am completely and totally uninterested in you.”

I squinted, “Hey! You don’t have to say it like that!”

He made a flippant hand gesture. “You can be so daft sometimes, Robb, really, I don’t understand it. You moan and groan for a year about Jon and the minute that he comes back, you instantly push him away with some stupid lie. You love him and you desperately want him back, so why are you sabotaging yourself?”

“I don’t know!” I exclaimed. “I’m scared. I can’t let myself be hurt like that again. I thought, maybe if I pushed him away and for good this time, it would better for me, that I would be protecting myself.”

Satin rolled his eyes, “That’s horseshit. If you’re scared of him hurting you, then you should tell him that. You need to work on your communication skills.”

I scoffed at that. “Look who’s talking. You’ve been pining over Theon for months now. Grow a pair and ask him out or something.”

In response, Satin blew a raspberry at me. “We’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you. And Jon.” He sighed and continued, “You need to talk to him and soon. You need to clear the air with him. Besides, maybe you two could use couple’s therapy.”

“Couple’s therapy.” I repeated.

He nodded, “Yeah, I think it would be good for you both. He hurt you when he left and now you’ve hurt him back. The both of you will probably keep on hurting each other until you can’t stand the sight of one another.” He cocked his head to the side and asked, “Why did he leave anyway? You never said. What happened the night before?”

I sighed. “He told me that he had cheated on me.” 

“Is that it?”

I shook my head. “No, I told him that I would tell the family about us.”

Satin shook his head again. “And what did he say to that?”

“He didn’t want me to. But I thought that I should anyway.”

“And that’s a good idea in your mind? To tell your family that you’re both in an incestuous relationship, without his consent?” He sighed. “Jon was wrong for just up and leaving the way he did, but I can’t entirely blame him. You realize that, don’t you? Relationships are a two way street. You have to listen to what he wants too.”

“I thought that he liked that, when I made all the decisions.”

“Really Robb, really? Clearly he doesn’t like it or else he wouldn’t have left.”

I was about to respond to that, but then the door opened, with Theon entering. Upon seeing him, Satin pushed his hair back. I didn’t understand how Satin could be so wise and confident and outspoken while dealing with me and my problems, but couldn’t even Theon that he liked him. I didn’t understand why either, Theon would have took him out on a date or something and showed him a decent time. 

“Hey Robb.” He said. “Hey there Satin. How are you doing?”

Satin blushed. “I’m doing very well, thanks for asking. You look really nice in that shirt. It suits you.”

Theon’s shirt did not suit him not did it fit. As a matter of fact, it was one of my old shirts that I gave to Theon once I put on some muscle. But I guess it would have looked absolutely perfect to Satin.

“Thanks mate. You look good too. Good enough to eat.” Theon joked. Satin started breathing really heavily and I knew that it was getting to be a bit much for him. My theory was proved when he announced. “Guys, I’m going to head home.”

Theon frowned. “Already?”

Satin nodded. “Yes. I’ll see myself out.”

Half an hour later, Theon and I were back on the couch watching more reruns of “Fat Friends.” I had always loved it, it relaxed me.

Theon looked over at me and said, “You know, that Satin is a nice piece of ass. Is he seeing anyone?”

I rolled my eyes. That was Theon speak for “I think he’s pretty cute.” I shook my head. “He’s not seeing anyone. You should ask him or something. If you’re not still seeing that Kyra girl.”

Theon frowned as if he had forgotten that she existed. “Oh.” He said. “Well I sort of yelled at her today when Jon came into the shop. It’s over between us. I’ll give Satin a talk next time I see him. That boy is too fit for his own good. Sexy thing.”

I ignored Theon’s comments. “Jon came into the shop?”

Theon rolled his eyes, as if he were sick of hearing Jon’s name. “Earlier today, he did. I gave him a talking to. He needed too, after the stunt he pulled.” Then he rose an eyebrow, “Are you two getting back together?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Satin says Jon and I should go to couple’s therapy.”

Theon smirked at that. “Smart lad, he is. He’s right, you know. You two definitely need couple’s therapy.”

I shrugged again. “Well we might not even get there. I said some harsh stuff to Jon. Told him some stuff that wasn’t true. I was an ass.”

Theon made a flippant hand gesture. “Make you shouldn’t worry about it too much. Jon’s fit and rich and popular, but he’s sort of oblivious. Plus, he’s your cousin. I could introduce you to some other toffs, if that’s what you like.”

I shook my head. “No thanks, mate. I don’t love Jon because he’s a toff. I love him because he’s Jon.”


	7. 7.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Jon's POV, he goes back home to Thirlestane to hear some horrible news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'll apologize for the past three chapters being short. I was sort of sick so I haven't been on top of my game, but starting tomorrow, you'll get longer updates, that I promise.
> 
> Also, I saw people in the comments debating whether they were Team Robb or Team Jon. If you're asking me (which nobody did lol) I'm both, and I'll tell you why. With Robb, he's always gotten everything he wants, he is the son of a Duke for that matter. He can also being sort of oblivious to the emotions of people around him (especially Jon) and he needs to work on that. However, he is just a sad boy whose heart was broken and he does love Jon, even when Jon doesn't really love himself.
> 
> In Jon's case, he's rich and he's been given a ton of opportunities (the reason he;s been labeled a toff) but his life is forever darkened by the death of his parents and the way they died. He'll always be jealous of people with parents, because he doesn't have any. Growing up without parents really shifts Jon's entire frame of mind and causes him to do the stuff he does. He does, for the record, love Robb. He is just really scared of loving people because he knows what happens when you lose people and how much that hurts.

7\. 

JON POV

As I’ve already stated, I really do love a drive by myself and I think the Maserati only enhances the experience. It was so nice to feel the air and breeze and to really look at everything that had happened in peace. First off, Robb was fucking someone else?

I knew that I wasn’t in a position to be too upset about it, especially after everything that I had done, but I still hurt in a weird sort of way. I didn’t know why I thought that I would have been able to waltz back to Scotland after all that time and that everything would be the way it was. Would it even be worth it to stay? It would have been so much easier to veer onto the road and just keep going, not stopping until I reach Land’s End. But I had run away once before and this time, I promised myself that I would stick it out. I knew that it wouldn’t be easy, but I would not give up.

Was that what Robb was always like? It just didn’t seem like anything Robb would say because Robb had always hated the idea of casual sex. He always told me that sex was love and vice-versa and that sex and love were mutually exclusive. By that standpoint, was there a chance that he was in love with Satin, whoever that was? It was one thing for Robb to have sex with another man, that didn’t matter to me at all, but I couldn’t take it if he was in love with someone else. 

But it was all what I deserved, right? You don’t get to leave and walk out and hurt people without there being repercussions. My father used to talk to me about all the things that I should give to a person I loved: honestly, respect, appreciation, and loyalty. And what had I given Robb? Basically horseshit served on a platter. The way he had talked to me was beyond disrespectful, but I couldn’t exactly fault him for it.

The lady who worked the gate let me back into Thirlestane without much conversation and for that, I was particularly grateful. It had been a very long day and all I wanted to do was grab a bite to eat and go to sleep and hope that I would wake up tomorrow for a totally new experience.

I parked the car and headed into the front door. I was headed to my old room when I stopped. “Jon? Jon! Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re here!” It was Sansa, of course. She was still pretty and peppy and it was nice to know that no matter what had changed in the time that I had been gone, she was still the same. I gave her a hug in return and a kiss on the cheek. “Sansa.” I said affectionately. “It’s so nice to see you again.”

“How have things been at Durham?”

That was a particularly loaded question. “Honestly dear, I’ve had the best year of my life. It really was an experience of a lifetime.”

She smiled at that. “I’m so happy to hear that! Speaking of which, while you’re here, would you mind helping me with my UCAS application? I would have asked Robb or something, but he’s been acting like he doesn’t know any of us exist anymore.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Is that the case?”

She nodded. “Ever since you left, he just hasn’t been the same. Even when he stopped crying and fussing, he left and he’s just not the same. I miss the old Robb, you know? The old Robb was really a great big brother. Maybe now that you’re back, he’ll finally be back to normal.” Then she lit up. “You were just visiting him, right? How was he?”

I didn’t want to lie to her, but I also didn’t want to tell her the truth. I shrugged. “He’s very muscular now.”

She giggled at that. “Yes Jon, that’s true. He’s super muscular now.” I was about to respond to her, but then she got a call. She muttered, “Its Theon. Give me one second.”

Despite the fact that she answer the phone call with a smile, it quickly turned into a frown. The phone call ended rather quickly and the second she removed the phone from her ear, I offered a concerned, “What? What’s happened? What did he say?”

A tear ran down her face and answered, “Its Robb. Theon said he’s been in a car accident. He’s in the hospital. He’s asking for you and you alone.”

(ROBB POV- THE DAY AFTER JON LEFT)

….

I threw a picture of the two of us at the wall. What kind of person just leaves without saying anything? I grabbed my phone and called him. It when to voicemail the first time I called. It went to voicemail the second time I called. The third time I called, he picked up.

“Jon? Jon is this you? Please Jon talk to me. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I was wrong, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please don’t go. Please don’t leave me.” Then I became desperate. “If you’re going to leave, at least give me and explanation! You at least owe me that.” I could feel the tears streaming down my face and no matter how much I wanted them to stop, they didn’t. He didn’t respond to me right away, instead, the sound of his breath carried through the phone line. Then, he answered.

“Don’t call me again, Robb.” He said coolly, his posh accent more emphasized than anything. “And by the way, I don’t owe you shit.” Then, the lined clicked. Then, I screamed. I screamed so loudly I knew the penguins heard me in Antarctica. I threw my phone against the wall, I wouldn’t need it anymore. The tears kept falling from my eyes like a river, a river that flowed and wouldn’t ever dry.

Would Jon ever come back to me? And if he did, what I do?


	8. 8.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon goes and visits Robb at the hospital. Drama ensues.

8\. 

JON POV

“Took you long enough. I won’t lie, I was beginning to think you fucked off to London again. I won’t lie to you, I was sort of hoping that you had. It’s certainly less drama when you’re gone.” Theon sighed and the continued. “He’s in the third room from the elevator on the right side of the hallway. He’s been saying your name again and again like he’s a broken record. Go see and shut him up.”

“Is he alright? Theon, tell me, is he going to be alright?” I asked him, desperately. I just wanted to know what I would be walking into. 

He just shrugged back at me, refusing to give me the decency of an answer. “Just… just go and see him. Go and see him now.”

I nodded and turned around, certain that I wouldn’t be receiving a firm answer from him and that it would be pointless to try to push it further. I followed Theon’s instructions, to the best of my ability, and headed to Robb’s room. Once I arrived, I lingered outside the door for a bit, not quite ready to venture inside. I took a deep breath and entered.

I had prepared myself to see Robb in a fucking coma, but I found him watching Hollyoaks and slurping down apple juice. He donned a hospital gown and did have some bandaging around his head. He didn’t see me at first, so I politely knocked against the wall. His eyes slowly turned toward me and he smiled. 

“Hey Jon.” He didn’t say it with much emotion and it came out a bit dry, maybe even forced.

I didn’t take a single step away from the door, though. I returned a simple and small, “Hey Robb.”

“Thank you for coming to see me. I didn’t know if you would.”

I shrugged. “Well, Theon told Sansa that you’d been in a car accident and that you were asking for me. So I came.”

Robb nodded. “You look pretty awkward standing in the doorway like that. You can come in, you know. Hey, come sit on the bed and watch the tele with me. Please?”

He made the sweetest face and I felt moved to oblige him. I made my way to the hospital bed and I sat on it, facing away from Robb. I heard him chuckle and I suddenly felt two strong arms around my waist, pulling me onto the bed with him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I felt his breath on my neck. Robb always did like to snuggle, some things never change. With that being said, I was extremely confused.

Why was Robb acting like nothing had happened? The last time I had seen him, he literally told me he’s fucking other guys and made it clear to me that he had no plans to stop fucking other guys. And now what? He had his hands around me, snuggling me like we were boyfriends or something. Were we boyfriends? The only reason that I had even come was to see Robb was because I thought that he was seriously injured. Now, I was wracking my brain, trying to decipher what was really going on. Was there a chance that the whole car accident had been a ploy? Had I been duped?

“Robb, how did you get into a car accident? You seemed pretty situated for the night when I left.”

He made a strange noise and rubbed his head against my back. He groaned. “I was heading over to Thirlestane. I decided that I wanted to talk to you again.”

He decided that he wanted to talk to me again? What kind of bullshit was that? He told me that he wanted to keep fucking other guys, then he decideds to talk to me again? I was starting to remember why I left in the first place. Why had I come back? Did I think that it would be magical? Or different? Because it wasn’t. It was the same. Exactly the same. 

“Oh.” I countered, as casually as possible. “Okay then.”

Robb didn’t say anything either but he tightened his grip on me. Luckily, I heard Theon’s voice interject, “Ugh. Cuddling in a hospital bed? You two are annoying.”

Robb threw a pillow at him. “Go away, then. Fuck off.”

Theon simply took a seat at one of the chairs. Any other time, I would have been annoyed by him, but at that time and in that instance, he was in the right place at the right time.

“So Robb, are you going to alternate between the boys you bring in the room?”

Robb’s grip on me loosened at the remark. “What do you mean?”

Theon shrugged. “Oh, nothing really. Just that Satin’s here. He’s downstairs, in the lobby.” 

I looked up. “What?” Immediately I got out of the bed. “Jon!” Robb shouted. “Jon, wait!”

Suddenly, a dark haired boy knocked on the door. He had pink flowers in his right hand and immediately I knew who he was, without any introduction being necessary.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here.” I said.

The boy furrowed his brows, “What? You’re Jon, right? I’m Satin. Nice to meet you.”

I took a step back in disgust. He really had the nerve to speak to me? “Where I’m from, mistresses have class. They stay in their own lane and they would never, ever, speak to their lover’s boyfriend. At least have some basic decency.”

Satin’s head cocked to the side. “Oh! I know what you mean. Robb didn’t tell you yet. He lied when he said we fucked. Robb and I have never so much as kissed, let alone had sex.”

My head snapped over to Robb. “Is that true?”

He nodded. “Yah.”

I shook my head. “Theon, please take Satin here and get out. I need to talk to Robb. Now.”

Theon shrugged, “No, I’m fine. I think I’ll stay.”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” 

Theon jumped up at that. Satin sort of threw the flowers onto a nearby chair and skedaddled out. 

“Robb, I’m leaving.”

He nodded. “Will you come back tomorrow, then?”

I shook my head and sighed, “No, I’m leaving for good. It isn’t healthy for me to live like this. Being happy, being sad, and being stressed out. I can’t do this anymore. I just need to go.”

Robb frowned. “You’re leaving? Again? You promised me that you wouldn’t fuck off and leave again! You promised!”

“Stop fucking yelling at me! I can do whatever I fucking want to. I am an adult and I don’t have to do what you want.” I calmed down a bit to finish my point. “I just can’t be with you like this anymore. I have to go Robb.” Then I added, “Besides, we’re fucking cousins.”

I made my way to the door and heard Robb quietly whisper, “If you leave again, don’t bother coming back.”

I shrugged and returned, “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments are much appreciated.


	9. 9.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 AND A HALF YEARS LATER

9.

(Five and a Half Years Later)

“Mmmm…. Jon. Don’t leave yet. The bed always gets so cold when you go.” He whined.

I looked down at him. He was so handsome, even more so now that he had decided to grow that beard. It was a very becoming look for him. But I did wish that he wasn’t so damned lazy. 

“I have to go, love. That’s what happens when people have jobs and work. You know, when they don’t rely on the parents’ and siblings’ successes.” Then I shrugged. “Hell, I could add boyfriend to the list.”

“You’re not my boyfriend.” He admonished. “You’re my fiancée.”

I looked down at my hand and there was an engagement ring decorating my hand. I had almost forgotten, he had proposed just last night. And against my better judgement, I had agreed. Despite all the drama and the bullshit that had occurred between us, I loved him and I had for a very long time.

“Yes, yes, you’re right. I am you’re fiancée. But back to my original point, a job would do you well. Don’t you have a dream job?”

He shook his head. “I don’t dream of labor, you know that.” He looked up at me and laid a quick peck on my cheek. “You’re so handsome Jon.”

“Thanks.”

He turned over on his side. “I don’t know why you even have a job. You don’t even need to work. There’s tens of millions of dollars in a trust fund just waiting to be cracked open.” A smirk grew across his face. “Let’s crack it wide open.”

I turned away from him and moved to the mirror. I straightened my tie and brushed my hair once more, just for good measure. “Perfect.” I muttered to myself. I picked up my bag and made my way to the door. “I’m leaving now, love.”

He nodded at me, his blonde curls shaking, “Okay. Goodbye, Jon. Love you. Have a good day.”

I looked back at him and responded, “Goodbye Loras. I love you too.”

I hated living in the City of London. Hampstead? Gorgeous. Mayfair? Stunning. Belgravia? Tantalizing. But the City? Cold. Cold and dark. Almost like a museum after dark.

The only reason that I had decided to move to the City was because it was near my finance job, but at some point you just jump on the Tube or drive your favorite car. But, I must say, I did love the walk to work. It was so freeing, too. Freeing in a way that was hard to describe. Something close to total freedom and liberation. 

“Mr. Targaryen?” A knock fell on my door.

I looked up. It was my newest intern, Tommen. I knew his mother by reputation and I hadn’t heard good things. Plus I had gone to Eton with his older brother and I hadn’t seen good things. However, Tommen was a nice kid and he was doing rather well at Cambridge. Besides, his grandfather was an associate of my grandfather and I didn’t see why that sort of family exchange shouldn’t continue.

“Yes?”

“I’ve brought your latte and some reports of the stocks that you asked for.” 

I gave him the hand signal that meant come here. He carefully placed my latte into my right hand and put the stocks on my desk. “How are the stocks doing, in your opinion?”

He bit his lip. He was a nervous kid too, not particularly assertive. But he was smart and if someone gave the kid a chance, he could really do things. “Well, I don’t think they’re doing so well, sir. It’s just that they haven’t really been making you and the company much money. I think that we should cut them loose.”

I raised an eyebrow. The kid was right and that was the plan of action. I was just curious as to what he might say. “I think that’s a great take on it, Tommen. Have you a busy day ahead of you?”

He shook his head. “No, not really. Just some papers to file.” I thought he was going to stop there, but he continued. “Actually, since it’s the last day of work before holiday, I’m going to leave a bit early and do some shopping for presents.”

I laughed at that. “You haven’t already finished with that yet? Its four days to Christmas, lad. All the good stuff will be gone by now.”

He shrugged. “Oh don’t you worry about me, Mr. Targaryen. I have my ways.” He started to back out of the room. He pushed the door open halfway before adding, “If I don’t see you at the Company Christmas Party, then Happy Christmas sir.”

“Happy Christmas to you too, Tommen.”

“Jon, I need you to help this man out with his finances.”

I sighed. The man who had rushed into my office was my boss who happened to be the only man in the entire company who could just burst into my office and refer to me as “Jon.”

“What man? And besides, that’s not quite in my job description.”

He shrugged. “You know that I would do it, but the kids leave school today and somehow I’ve been assigned to pick them up.” Then he manipulatively added, “Besides, that pay raise does go into effect January 1st…..”

I sighed, “Fine, I’ll do it. Who is he?”

“I can’t quite remember the name so I won’t even attempt to speculate. He’s some military hero, fought in Afghanistan, Lost a leg or something. Scottish, of course. Oh! He’s got some aristocratic connections as well. Has recently come into some money, he wants some advising from the best.”

“Fine, fine, send him in.”

He smiled, “Thanks Jon. This is good of you. Happy Christmas. I’ll send him in straightaway.”

I turned my laptop off and slid it into my bag. There would be no reason to keep it out and besides, once I was finished talking to the man, I would have a cookie or two from the Company Party, then I’d be on my way back home. 

“Hello?” A deep voice asked. “I’m supposed to meeting with a Jon Targaryen.”

I finished with my laptop and my bag and I raised my face above the desk. “Yes, this is he-” I stopped mid-sentence, after seeing an all too familiar face, yet one that wasn’t familiar at all. 

“Robb?”

He smiled, “So you do remember me. I was a bit worried that you wouldn’t.”

I stood and offered him my hand to shake, but he pulled me into a hug, totally ignoring my wishes. So typical Robb.

“What are you doing here, Robb? You don’t like London.”

He shrugged. “That’s very true. But I needed financial advice and I did my research about who the best at it is and guess whose face popped up across my keyboard?”

“Mine?” I asked.

Robb smiled. “Yes! Yours! So I thought I’d make a trip down here and ask for help. Of course, if it’s a problem, I can go.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s perfectly fine. What did you need help with?”

He bit his lip. “There isn’t any way to say it without just coming right out with it: we’re broke, Jon. The entire family: we’re broke.”

I furrowed my brows, “What? How can that be? My boss said I was meeting with someone who had just come into some money.”

He shrugged. “I lied Jon! Places like this don’t want to help people like me in situations like mine! I don’t even know how it happened. I’ve only just been discharged from the navy and I’ve come home to find the family’s in disarray.”

“The navy?” I asked him, totally ignoring his other statements. “How’d you get yourself into the navy? You always hated the idea of doing that. And my boss, he said you’d lost a leg….”

Robb lifted the left leg of his trousers to display a bionic leg. “I haven’t lost the whole leg, just the part below the knee. Saved a fuckload of sailors, got a few medals for it. It doesn’t hurt or anything, so don’t worry about that. And to answer your question, it was after the divorce.”

“What divorce? You were married?”

He nodded. “Aye. But only briefly. To Talisa, you probably don’t remember her, but we got married a little after the last time I saw you. We’d slept together on a drunken night and she got pregnant. We both decided to get married. Didn’t work out.”

It was so much information in so little time. “You have a child?”

He nodded. “A handsome young lad. He’s two years old now. His name’s Bruce, after Bruce Willis, but I tell everyone it’s after Robert the Bruce. Talisa’s been gone for a while now, she left me. Seems like a recurring theme.” He laughed awkwardly, but I kept my face completely straight. He then continued, “Sansa and her beau took care of him while I was away, trying to make money. But now that I’ve got some, I’m moving to Glasgow, get a flat there and get a job that’s in my degree and make a better life for Conrad.”

“Will you still be a Duke?”

He was clearly taken aback by my question. “I don’t see how that’s important. But yes. Probably the poorest duke there is, but a duke all the same.” He sighed. “Well, how have you been? That’s a mighty big rock on your finger. Who are you engaged to?”

“Loras.” I blurted out.

Robb frowned at that. “That’s….unsurprising. Well anyway, can you help me out with my financial problem?”

“Honestly Robb, I would need to know more about it.”

He shrugged, “Then can you come up for the holiday? If I’m the problem, then I’ll stay far away. Just help them. Please.”

He wore me down. “You don’t have to stay away. Maybe I can come up for a day or two, but not any longer. I won’t be able to stay. Also, I won’t want to deal with any bullshit. I’ll be there to do business and that’s it.”

Robb shook his head. “That’s sad to hear. They are your family and they do love you. But if those are your conditions, then consider them met.”


	10. 10.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon ends up back at Thirlestane to try and help the Starks.

10\. 

“I swear it won’t be too long, they’re just in some need of some help. Besides, they are my family after all.”

Loras rolled his eyes at me. “Maybe, maybe not. That’s debatable.”

I gave him a mostly playful push. “Loras, they are indeed my family and the only family that I have left. You are perfectly free to come, if you like.”

He snorted at that. “I see you’re making jokes now, love. That was very funny.”

I frowned. “I’m being serious, Loras. You can come. As a matter of fact, I’d prefer it if you came. I’d love for you to be there. You can see where I used to live and how I used to live. You haven’t been to Scotland many times, it could be an eye opening experience for you.”

He rolled his eyes and then proceeded to blow a raspberry at me. “You said that Robb came to visit you in your office, yeah? He’s the one that you used to fuck, right?”

I swallowed my spit after that comment. “Uh…yes, well it wasn’t really like that. We weren’t just fucking. We loved each other, at least we tried to. He was my boyfriend if anything.”

Loras took a step closer to me. “Yes, I know. You’ve told me. You and Robb are cousins and you loved each other but it couldn’t be. Is this going to the holiday where you two rekindle your love for each other? I am your fiancée, Jon, in case you’ve forgotten. And I understand that these people….they are your family. Yes, I know, I get that. But he’s your ex too and it’s weird. Are you going to cheat on me with him?”

I took a step back and shook my head. “No! Of course not, Loras. You know I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh really? Is that so? Honestly Jon, you’ve been acting really weird ever since you saw Robb again. And let me remind you, that you cheated on him with me. I mean honestly, what’s stopping you from going back up there and cheating on me with him? He’s probably sitting up there, waiting for you now. Thinking of all the ways he can get you back. I know he is. He probably hates me too. Probably wants to make me pay for what happened.”

I rolled my eyes. “Honestly, you can be so dramatic sometimes. First off, Robb isn’t really spiteful in that sort of way. I highly doubt that Robb is still hung up on me or still upset about what happened. Second of all, Robb seems really focused on his family these days. Plus, he got divorced and now he has a son. He seems like he really cares about the son, too. Wants to be a good father. I’m sure he will be a good father too.”

Loras ran his hands through his hair. “Let me make myself very plain to you, Jon. I don’t give a damn if Robb is a good father or not. I don’t care if he’s trying to better himself either. I just want to know that you can go up there and be loyal to me. Can you do that? That’s the only thing I care about. So is that a possibility for you?”

I gave him a sad smile. “Loras come here.” He gave a sort of reluctant glance at me, but did start to make his way over to where I was. He then decided to plop himself down in my lap. I laid a soft kiss on his neck and whispered into his ear. “I swear to you that I won’t even give Robb a glance and my mind will only think of you.” 

(Roughly a day later)

Thirlestane looked the same as it always had. For some reason, I had imagined that it would look different, maybe smaller or dilapidated. But no, it looked the exact same. The air was still the same as it had always been. Of all the things that had changed so drastically in my life, Thirlestane was ever constant. But now, just like with everything, change threatened its very existence. As always, I enjoyed the drive up from London. While it took several hours, I always did appreciate a swift breeze through my hair. Made me feel so free. Free and liberated. There was something about London that was intoxicating and not in a good way. The city felt so high strung and fast moving, that being out of it was so relaxing and calming. I parked my car in the same car park that I had always parked it in without fail.

I exited the car, only for a little ball to come rolling my way. I look down at the ball and realized it was one of Rickon’s old toys and then I looked up, half expecting Rickon to be at the other end, but it was only a small, auburn haired boy.

“Kick.” He said. 

He and I stared at each other for a while before I decided to do anything. I had no idea how to relate to a child and I also had no idea WHO THE CHILD WAS to begin with, so it was all around a confusing and distressing experience. 

“Kick.” He repeated. Clearly the boy was stubborn and wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted, so took it upon myself to kick the ball back to him. He smiled at that, chased the ball and then kicked the ball back to me. Again, I was left confused. The first option would be to kick the ball back to him again, which meant he would have kicked the ball back to me again and so forth, causing a possibly endless loop of the two us kicking the ball to each other for the rest of our lives. Or, I could walk away from him, which would undoubtedly be met with loud wails of disapproval. 

I decided to kick the ball back to him. Despite what I had thought, he picked the ball up and waddled his way over to me. He looked up at me, smiled, and asked, “Name?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “My name is Jon. What’s your name?”

“Bruce.” He said. 

“Bruce?” A deep, masculine Scottish voice asked. I looked up and there was Robb, beard and all. He looked at me, then he looked at Bruce, and then he smiled. “Bruce.”

Bruce took off running and shouting “Papa!” He ran into Robb’s arms and Robb gave him a firm hug. I smiled. In hind sight, I should have known that boy was Robb’s son. He looked just liked Robb anyway and besides, he was just as stubborn as Robb. I was certainly glad that I hadn’t decided to walk away after all. Robb picked Bruce up in his arms and made his way over to me. 

“Papa!” The boy announced. “This Jon! He’s my new friend.”

Robb raised his eyebrow. “Oh yes?”

Bruce nodded very matter-of-factly. “Yes! My friend.”

Robb laughed and smirked. “He’s not just your friend. He’s technically your cousin.”

Bruce smiled. “Yay! Cousins and friends.” Then, his attention was diverted. “Can we go and sit in the fields?”

Robb nodded. “Of course.”

Then Bruce turned to me, “Can Jon come?”

Robb shrugged. “I don’t know.” Robb looked me in the eyes and repeated, “Can Jon come?”

I nodded. “Sure, I’d be happy to come.” Robb put Bruce down and Bruce began to waddle along. Robb turned to me. “I thought you hated kids.”

I shrugged. “I don’t hate them. I just don’t love them either.” Then I added. “Your kid, however, isn’t so bad.” 

He smiled. “My kid is in the fact the greatest. Smart little bugger too. I’ve started teaching addition and subtraction so he’ll be ahead when he starts school next year.”

I raised an eyebrow, “He’s starting school at two years old?”

Robb shook his head, “No. He’ll be three by next September and I’ll just be starting him into one of those learning programs. I want him to do well in school.”

I knew that Robb meant every word he said. “That’s really great, Robb. I mean it.” Robb turned and looked at me in the eyes. “I’m sort of glad you’re back, even if it’s just for a quick holiday. It’s been so long.” Then he quietly added. “I missed you.”

The way his voice sounded made me want to cry. I had left. Twice. But I still missed him. I missed the way that life was and I missed the way that I used to feel. “I missed you too, Robb.”

He looked away from me and muttered. “It’s good that you did come back now anyway. We’re going to have to sell Thirlestane, so at least you can take one last look at it.”

I stopped in my tracks as I felt a tear rolling down my face. “You’re selling Thirlestane? It’s that bad?”

He nodded. “I hate to do it, but it’s not an option. I’ll miss it, we all will. But there are more important things in life than castles.”

I bit my lip. “I’ll give you all some money. Don’t protest Robb, I know you will. Things may have gone awry between the two of us, but I did live here once too. Besides, you all took me in when my parents died and I had nowhere else to go. I have all that money in the bank that’s just sitting there, it’s the least I can do. Robb, let me do this.”

He looked at me, his lip quivering, and a tear falling from his eye. He wrapped his arms around me tightly. Robb always did give wonderful hugs. Heartfelt and affectionate. “Thank you Jon.”

I hugged him back. “It’s no problem, Robb. Really.” Robb loosened his grip on me and connected our foreheads. Another tear fell down his face. He quietly said, “Don’t leave again. Please.” I felt tears streaming down my face as well. I didn’t answer him and just leaned forward and kissed him. Fuck, I thought. His lips felt like heaven. It was like going home, once and for all. It was an opportunity to say “I’m sorry.” It felt like our reconciliation. Then, I heard a voice clear behind us and we both jumped apart. Robb jumped onto his bionic leg and ended up falling onto the ground. I turned and saw my Uncle Ned, Sansa, Arya (with that boy whose name I could never remember), Rickon, and Bran staring at us like we both had three heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was curious, Thirlestane is a real castle in Scotland and you can visit if you like. It's about 35 minutes away from the capital, Edinburgh.


	11. 11.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon figures out his place with the Starks.

11\. 

“So tell me-and be honest with me too- how long has this been going on? Huh? How long has this been happening?” Uncle Ned asked sternly. His face was tied and he looked pretty cross. However, that was his normal resting face to a certain extent. He was never the most jovial man around. I looked to Robb to answer the question, but he was just looking at me, just as shocked. I wanted to open my mouth, but my throat felt completely dry. It was as if someone had thrown me into a sauna and just left me there. I couldn’t speak. 

Fortunately, Robb took the opportunity to be brave. “It started a long time ago, Father. Many, many years ago.”

Uncle Ned’s face continued to be tied in a frown. I looked at the faces behind him, Sansa’s, Arya’s, Rickon’s, and Bran’s faces. Rickon sort of awkwardly cleared his throat and muttered, “I’m going to go on inside. Have to prepare for Christmas and everything.” He turned around and Bran, Arya, and Sansa sort of trailed behind him. But Uncle Ned took no steps and walked nowhere. 

“Is this true, Jon? You and Robb have been entangled for years?”

My heart was beating so quickly. I wanted nothing more than to float into thin air, and merely disappear. Or maybe I could turn into a cloud. I might just enjoy being a cloud. Seems like a fun life. “Yes.” I forced out. “It’s true.”

He groaned. “And the fact that you two are cousins had no bearing on this tryst?”

Hm. If we’re being totally transparent, I was certain that Robb being my cousin did make the whole affair even better. I don’t know, something along the lines of us sharing blood, that it was forbidden and taboo, just made the entire affair even more intense. Maybe it still did, even now. No matter what happened between us, no matter how angry or upset or annoyed I was at him, I still always found myself running back to him. Robb was mine. And I knew it, I was Robb’s too. No matter if we saw other people, or had sex with others, or had children. He was still mine and I was still his,

Robb shrugged. “Father, are you going to lecture Jon and me about our choice of partner? Father, you forget that Jon and I are both adults. We can do whatever we want to.” Then he added for good measure. “I asked Jon to come up so that he could help us with our financial problems. Just a few minutes ago, he offered to give us the money that we needed so we wouldn’t have to sell Thirlestane, our ancestral home.”

That seemed to take Uncle Ned aback. “Oh.” He muttered to himself. “I hadn’t realized that you were planning to do that, Jon. That really is something. Thank you very much.” He walked over to me and hugged me. Then he looked at Robb and said, “Come here, son.” Robb did as he was asked. Uncle Ned wrapped his arms around Robb too and we had a group hug. “I won’t lie, I’m not really thrilled that you two are doing whatever it is that you’re doing. Jon, you are my sister’s only son and you remind me so much of her. She too had a history of leaving Thirlestane and vanishing without a trace. I had always thought of you as a son, not a son in law.” He trailed off for a bit, clearly thinking. Then he continued. “But I would never try to stand in the way of one’s happiness. I would never do that, especially not the two of you. I just need you both to be careful. Robb, you’ve got a son now. You have to think for yourself and him. And Jon, you’ve got an amazing job in London. You both have a lot to think about, but I digress. It has been a criminally long time since you’ve been here for Christmas, Jon. I’m glad that you are back with your family during this time.” He turned around and sauntered off, leaving Robb and I standing. 

My legs were tired and it had been a long drive up from London, so I decided to have a seat on the grass. Robb quickly followed suit. “He’s right you know. Bruce and I are a package deal. If you’re going to be with me Jon, you have to know that Bruce will be there. You’re going to have to treat him with respect and with dignity. I know you don’t like kids very much, so if it’s too much for you, say so.”

I sighed and shook my head. “It isn’t too much for me. Bruce isn’t bad. In fact, he’s sort of fun to be around, for a child. I wouldn’t be his father or anything, you’re his father, but I wouldn’t mind being his fun Uncle Jon. The one that lets him borrow cars and buys him Rolexes for his birthdays.”

Robb smirked. “You wouldn’t be his Uncle Jon, you’d be his stepdad. You would live with us, me and Bruce. You’d be a big influence in his life. I’ll be honest Jon, it isn’t easy taking care of a child. Bruce, he needs a lot of attention. He needs to be the star of everyone’s eyes. He’ll need it from you, Jon. Do you understand that?”

I nodded slowly, “Yes, I understand that.”

Robb nodded. “I can’t let you be in my son’s life if you’re just going to leave again, you know. I know you’re older now and you’ve learned some things, but you do have a history of leaving when things get hard. He doesn’t remember his mother at all, so her leaving didn’t make a difference. But if you lived with us for a year or two and then decided you couldn’t take it anymore and left, it would break his little heart.” He paused. “And besides that, have you really changed that much Jon? You cheated on me with Loras and now you’ve cheated on Loras with me? Is it me or is it Loras, Choose.”

“You,” I breathed out. “It’s always been you. Things with Loras, they’ll sort themselves out. I’ll sort it.”

Robb stared at me for a long time. He muttered, “When I lost my leg in the army, I thought I was going to die. I remember lying there, in the dirt and the cold, and when I closed my eyes, because the pain was too much, I thought of you. I thought of you and I smiled. I love you, Jon. So much. This is what? Our third time around? Third time’s the lucky one, right? Isn’t that what they say?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t remember. But let’s make it the lucky one. I love you too.”

He smiled at me and kissed me. He climbed on top of me and started rubbing me all over. He sighed, “I’d take you right here and now, if Bruce weren’t watching.” He stood up. “I’m going into the house. I’ll leave you out here with Bruce, so you two can bond. Step=dad.” He smiled and sauntered off to the house. 

I smiled too and walked over to Bruce. He was staring at me with big eyes and exclaimed. “Mommy?”

I frowned. “What?”

“Mommy!” He pointed at me. “Daddies kiss the mommies. My daddy kissed you, so you must be my mommy.”

I smiled, in spite of myself. Maybe I might be. “Maybe. But you can just call me Jon, just like I told you earlier. Will that be alright with you?”

He nodded. “Okay. Jon.”

I was about to pick him up, as Robb had done earlier, but I got a call from Loras. I was hesitant about answering, but I decided to anyway. “Hello?” I asked. 

“Hey, love. Can you have them open up the gate for me?”

“What?”

1 heard Loras laugh through the phone. “I’m here love, at Thirlestane. You said I could come here and I decided to take you up on your offer. So, open the gate.”


	12. 12.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loras and Jon make decisions about their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I caught pink eye so I couldn't write much but I'm back! This week I'm updating all my works because my birthday is Wednesday and it's sort of my gift to you all. As always, comments and kudos are very much appreciated.

12\. 

“So are you going to introduce me to the family or what?” Loras asked. 

I sighed. “Maybe that’s not the best idea in the whole world right now. Maybe we can wait a beat. I can show you around town. How would you like that?”

He shook his head. “No, I want to meet your family? Besides, why wouldn’t now be a good time? You said yourself that I could come up here if I wanted to.”

Unfortunately he was right, I had said that out of my own mouth, but that was a big mistake. I knew that I had to tell him, I just had no idea how to tell him. “Yes, you’re right. I did say that. It’s just that now’s not the greatest time.”

He rolled his eyes and huffed. “Oh really?” He folded his arms and rolled his eyes at me. “And could you please explain to me why that’s the case?”

Well, Robb and I just decided that we wanted to be together again and then we announced our love in front of the family. But of course, I couldn’t say that out loud to Loras. “Well it’s just because there’s a lot of stuff going around today. Maybe it would just be best for you to go home and spend Christmas with your family and we’ll meet up for New Years and have a talk.”

Loras was clearly taken aback and I could tell immediately that he didn’t like what I had to say. “Excuse me?” He started. His voice was raised and I could tell that he was beyond annoyed. “I’ve come all the way up to Scotland to be with you and to spend Christmas with your family and now you’re telling me that I should go home? Jon, what the fuck is going on here?”

I was looking away from him and twiddling my fingers in a sorry attempt to avoid answering the question when the same ball from earlier came rolling between my legs.

“The hell……” I said, looking down at the ball. I turned around to see Bruce waddling towards Loras and me. As you can imagine, I had never been so excited to see a child before in my entire life. I was half expecting Bruce to ask me to pick him up or to kick the ball back to him, but he waddled right past me and went straight to Loras. He then proceeded to hit Loras’s leg and screamed, “My mommy, not yours! Stay away!”

Bruce, being a toddler, couldn’t have had a particularly firm punch, but Loras proceeded to act as if he had been assaulted by some MMA fighter. He dramatically toppled over to the ground (which left Bruce with an overly self-satisfied face.)

I thought about going over to help Loras up, but then I realized that would have been absolute pointless because he was an adult and Bruce was a two year old. Loras’s behavior was ridiculous and very telling. “Get up.” I said. 

Loras continued lying on the ground, specifically ignoring what I had requested. I then heard feet walking over to Loras, Bruce, and me. I turned to see that it was Robb. ‘Oh fuck’ I thought. Robb and Loras in one place? That’s exactly what I didn’t ever expect to happen. Or maybe I had just hoped that it would never happen. Meh, same thing.

Robb picked Bruce up and raised an eyebrow at him. “Bruce, what are you doing?”

Bruce made a face and responded, “He was close to mommy. I had to.” He shrugged following his statement.

Robb made a confused face. “What? Your mother isn’t here.”

Bruce shook his head vehemently. “Mommies kiss the daddies. You kissed Jon. You’re my daddy. So Jon’s my mommy.” Robb laughed and I could hear Loras very audibly gasp. In reality, I did have to commend Bruce’s deduction skills: he was clearly an intelligent young lad, if not a violent one as well.

Loras stood from the ground and looked at me with a really shocked face. “Jon.” He mumbled. “You kissed him? Who even is this?”

Any trace of the smile that once adorned Robb’s face had completely vanished. He slowly put Bruce on the ground, instructed him to go play, and then turned his attention back to Loras. “My name is Robb Stark. This is my house and my home. The real question is: who the fuck are you?”

I was certain that Loras would have backed off at that point: Robb was big and muscular and manly. He had been in a war and had seen things that I couldn’t even fathom. Loras might have been stubborn and annoying, but he had to have known that Robb wasn’t the right person to try and have a fight with. Apparently, Loras didn’t care about any of that.

Loras made a weird face. “So you’re that glorious Robb Stark, huh? I’ve heard so much about you and this is it? Some deadbeat with one leg and an oops baby?”

I gasped at Loras’s words. Robb’s fists were balled and he started moving towards Loras, almost as if he were about to swing. I took the opportunity to jump between them. “Robb, you need to go now. I do not want to see you do something that you’re going to regret. I’ll handle it. I promise.”

Robb was fuming. I could tell that he was livid. “No, I can handle it myself. I don’t give a fuck what he says about me, but no one talks about my son.”

I had wrapped my arms around him in hopes of avoiding him reaching around me and punching Loras. “Robb. I’ll handle it. I promise.”

Robb huffed again and walked away. I ran my fingers through my hair. “What the fuck, Jon? You kissed your cousin again and then you don’t say a single word to defend me?”

It was honestly like an out of body experience. I felt as though I had left my body and that I was circling in the airspace above. “First of all Loras, you’re being very dramatic. Second, you made an ablest comment about Robb and you disrespected a child.” I felt myself take off the engagement ring. “I’m sorry Loras, but I just can’t. It’s no use between us.”

He sighed and took the ring from my hand. “I know.” He said. “I know.” Then he forced a smile and muttered. “We had some good times though, right?”

I nodded. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “We sure did. Goodbye, Loras.”

He nodded. “Bye Jon.”


	13. 13.

13\. 

I used to hate snow. It was so thick and cold. I would never actually let people know that I hated snow. For some reason, people equated hating snow to hating puppies. Robb loved the snow, though. His favorite thing was to jump into the snow, make snow angels, and build snowmen, so of course he wanted to pass that on to his son.

“Bruce!” Robb yelled. “Come here, to your papa.”

Bruce’s little body was wrapped in a tight coat, with a scarf around his neck. He trotted over to his father. Bruce looked up at him and asked, “Papa?”

Robb grabbed and lived him up onto his shoulders. That made me smile. Then Robb turned to me. “Come on now, Jon. Make a snowman with me.”

I was completely bundled up, not dissimilar from the way Bruce was as well. I had never been able to handle the cold well, but I think something about that endeared me to Robb. 

I walked over to Robb and Bruce. Robb raised his eyebrow at me. “You’re wearing my coat.” 

I shrugged at him. “Do you want me to take it off?”

He shook his head. “Of course not. I like you in my clothes. Besides, you look like you’re bloody freezing out here.”

I smiled. “I am freezing.” Then I added. “But I am enjoying myself though.”

Robb leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “Eww.” Bruce said from atop Robb’s shoulders. Robb broke the kiss and put Bruce back onto the ground. Bruce immediately threw himself on the ground and began to make a snow angel. I smiled at him. Robb grabbed me and kissed me hard. His strong arms were all over me. Normally I would have been delighted, but I didn’t want to traumatize little Bruce further.

“Robb.” I breathed out. “Not in front of the kid.”

Robb just took a step back to look at me. He shrugged and just continued to kiss me. I pushed him back, He smiled and muttered, “Alright, alright. I get it. I understand.”

I shoved my hands into my pockets, my entire being was freezing over. “Robb. Can we go back inside? Let’s make a snowman some other time.”

He smiled but shook his head. “Nope. We have to go into Edinburgh and have Bruce fitted for a kilt. It’ll be our first Hogmanay together and I won’t have him being the only Scot in the city not wearing a kilt.” Then he set his eyes upon me and squinted. “You’re half Scottish and you still haven’t once spent a Hogmanay with me. I’ll have you fitted for a kilt.”

I frowned and shook my head at that. “No! Robb, I can’t wear a kilt. I’m not a Scot, it would hardly be appropriate.”

Robb shook his head. “You’ll be in a kilt, alright. You’d look mighty fine in a kilt too.” He bit his lip while thinking about it. “Please Jon. For me?”

As hard as I might try, I couldn’t bear to deny him anything. “Fine.” 

Robb smiled at that too. “Thanks love. I knew you’d say yes. I love you.”

I giggled back at him. “I love you too.”

The ride into town was particularly quiet, apart from the sound of Bruce’s off-key rendition of a Taylor Swift song. Robb would occasionally look over at me and smile. The car smelled like cinnamon. I was happy.

Robb parked his car directly across from the kilt shop. Robb gently unbuckled Bruce from the booster seat and put him on his shoulders. Then, the three of us walked into the kilt shop. Robb handed Bruce to me as he went to speak with the owner of the shop. I sat Bruce down on the couch. 

“Jon!” Robb called. “You first.”

I gulped. I hadn’t wanted to go at all, let alone first. I walked up to the man, who was looking at me with a ruler.

He extended a hand to me. “Pleased to meet you. What’s your family’s tartan?”

I had no idea. I mean, I had an idea of the colors that Robb and Uncle Ned wore, but I didn’t actually know what the name of it was. I looked over at Robb, who chuckled softly. He spoke up, “Scottish Borders. Thirlestane.”

The man nodded and went to the back of the store. I looked back at Robb, “I don’t like this, Robb. This is sort of weird.” 

Robb blew a raspberry at me. “You’re going to look like a Scots prince.”

I rolled my eyes as the man reemerged with a kilt. “For you.” He handed it to me. I sort of stared at the kilt for a minute or so, not really sure what to do with it. “Am I supposed to try it on?”

The man gave me a confused stare, but Robb chimed in. “I called him yesterday and told him of your measurements.”

“Oh.” was all I said. I nodded and smiled. Robb walked over to Bruce and guided him away from the couch and to the man. “This is Bruce. I called you about his measurements too.”

Bruce grinned and loudly said, “Hi!”

“Hello there, little man.” The owner said before disappearing into the back to grab Bruce’s kilt too. He then reemerged with the tiniest kilt that I had ever seen. The man handed it to Bruce, who excitedly took it.

“What do you say to him, Bruce?”

“Thank you.” Bruce responded. Robb shook the man’s hand and I gave a simple nod. We walked back to the car and I watched Robb but Bruce back into his car seat. Robb and I climbed into the car. Before starting the car, Robb kissed me. “I love you, Jon.”

I smiled back at him. “I love you too, Robb.”

Robb bit his lip for a bit, then grabbed something from the pocket in the door: it was a little black box. “I didn’t buy these kilts for Hogmanay…..not exactly, at least. It’s how my parents were married, my father was in a kilt…...would you like that? Being married? I think it would be good for us….if you want.”

“You want to marry me?”

Robb nodded. “I’d like that. Would you?”

I paused for a moment. “Um.” I paused. “I don’t know.”


	14. 14.

14\. 

Robb bit his lip for a bit, then grabbed something from the pocket in the door: it was a little black box. “I didn’t buy these kilts for Hogmanay…..not exactly, at least. It’s how my parents were married, my father was in a kilt…...would you like that? Being married? I think it would be good for us….if you want.”

“You want to marry me?”

Robb nodded. “I’d like that. Would you?”

I paused for a moment. “Um.” I paused. “I don’t know.”

He frowned at me. He started to move his hand back. “I’m sorry.” He muttered. “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just that you’ve been gone for so long and now you’re back and I just wanted to be sure that you’d stay this time.” He sighed and a tear rolled down his face. “I should have known that marriage doesn’t make people stay. People stay because they want to stay.”

I turned around to look at Bruce to make sure that he was still paying attention to his tablet. It wouldn’t be good for him to see his dad cry. He was still staring at his tablet, completely focused. I turned back to Robb and wiped a tear from his face. “Robbie.” I said. I hadn’t called him that since we were children. I leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead. “I love you. But just because I love you doesn’t mean that we have to rush to be married. You’re divorced, my fiancee and I broke up, maybe now is the time that we just take some time off and just focus on each other. We don’t have to rush anything. Let’s just be happy.”

Robb looked over and the look on his face was so vulnerable. He looked so broken and tired. I hadn’t thought about how hard things must have been for Robb: getting married, then getting divorced, then having a kid, then losing his leg. I couldn’t blame him for trying to grasp at a semblance of normalcy in his life. He deserved stability. Hell, so did I.

I kissed him again. “Can we go to your place in Glasgow? I know it’s a bit of a drive, but it would be nice to go for a bit, just be away for a while. We can just relax and you can make some of your world famous hot chocolates. And the three of us can watch movies and be together, like a real family. How’s that?”

Robb nodded and started the car. “I like the sound of that.”

I smiled at him and continued talking, not quite sure if it was for his benefit or mine. “I could resign from work and move up here, to Glasgow. Believe it or not, I still haven’t spent any of my trust fund money. We could have a life together, just the three of us.”

Robb smirked. “Oh yeah?” He asked. “You’ll just leave London once and for all, for me and Bruce here? You’ll be his mum?”

To my displeasure, Bruce heard that and announced, “Mum!” 

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and then whispered, “You’re going to make the ‘mum’ name stick! I’m not his mum.”

Robb shrugs. “Technically not, no. But you’ll be his mum for all intents and purposes.”

I blew a raspberry at him. “I’ll be his stepfather who buys Rolexes and cars.”

Robb rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say, mum.”

Bruce had long fallen to sleep by the time it was 8. Robb was taking a shower, so I put Bruce to sleep. Despite him being so energetic, he went to bed pretty easily. He didn’t make a fuss or anything. I returned to the living room, put my feet up, and just continued watching some movies and enjoying myself. Eventually, Robb re emerged from the bathroom, with a towel around his waist. The little droplets of sweat made him look absolutely god-like. I looked him up and down and saw his bionic leg for the first time. It looked completely natural, it was even a similar color to Robb’s skin tone. Robb must have seen me looking at it because he asked, “Does it turn you on that your boyfriend is part cyborg?”

I laughed. “You look sexy.”

He raised an eyebrow at me and smiled. “How sexy do I look? On a scale from 1 to 10?”

Robb always liked compliments, that was something that had not changed. “Negative 50.” I responded, teasingly.

Robb scoffed at me. “Negative 50, huh?” He moved closer to me and dropped his towel, standing in front of me in all his naked glory. He looked like such a man. Tall, muscular, well endowed. It had been so long since I had seen….little Robb. Or maybe I should say big Robb?

I grabbed Robb and pulled him onto me. We kissed and I touched his body. He was so firm and muscular. He smelled like some French cologne that was obscenely expensive. I grabbed his left butt cheek, it was firm and thick. I smiled into the kiss. Robb was in the process of taking off my pants when we were abruptly interrupted.

“Papa?”

Robb and I exchanged a shocked look and Robb immediately jumped over the couch, landing on the other side where Bruce couldn’t see. I went over to Bruce and grabbed his hand, trying to take him to bed. “Let’s go back to bed, Bruce. C’mon.”

He wouldn’t move. “No! Papa!”

I looked over my shoulder to see Robb’s head peering over the couch. He was still completely naked. I turned back at Bruce and sighed. “Go to bed, Bruce and I promise your papa will be there in just a moment.”

He offered his pinky to me. “Pinky promise?”

I nodded. I intertwined his little finger with mine. “Pinky promise.” He nodded and went trotting off to bed. I made sure that Bruce trotted back off to sleep. Robb rose from the back of the couch and sighed. “Fuck.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Jon, can you go fetch my robe?”

I nodded. I went to his room and grabbed his robe from his closet. I came back and gave it to him. He put it on and left a kiss on my forehead. “I’m going to go put him to bed.” He kissed my forehead again and then muttered. “Then I’m going to put you to bed. I’ll expect you on the bed, totally naked.”

I smirked and nodded, “Yes, of course.”


	15. 15.

The room smelled of lavender and vanilla. Robb’s arm was wrapped firmly around me and his body firm pressed against mine. I smiled. I carefully maneuvered my way from under his strong arms and quietly left the room. My first thought was to go make some breakfast, but I decided to go and check on Bruce first. I peeped my head into his room, but he, like his father, was soundly asleep.

I went to the kitchen and started pulling out all sorts of ingredients. No, I had never learned how to cook, but it was worth a shot. I rustled through the cupboard and began to grab every and anything that looked like it remotely looked like it could be used to make food. Long story short, I ended up making some disgusting looking burnt pancakes and hot chocolate that contained way too much sugar. Then, by accident, I set off one of the smoke alarms in the flat, causing total disarray and overall confusion. Almost immediately, both Robb and Bruce emerged from their bedrooms to see where all the noise was coming from. “Make it stop!” Bruce screamed. “Daddy, make it stop!” Robb ran straight to the fire alarm and attempted to dismantle it to no avail. He then went and grabbed a bat and swung at the fire alarm, finally causing it to stop the alarm.

Robb sighed and shook his head at me. “What the fuck were you trying to make?”

Bruce immediately cut in, knowing bad language when he heard it. “Bad Papa! You said a bad word!”

Robb nodded. “You’re right, Bruce. I did say a bad word and I am sorry for that. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Bruce concurred. “Nope. You shouldn’t have. Bad.”

Robb smirked. “Me? I’m bad? What about Jon here? Who knows what he was attempting to make? He could have set the entire building ablaze.”

Bruce turned his attentions to me. “Then you are bad too. Bad Jon.”

I rolled my eyes. “I was just trying to make food for you both. The two of you were asleep so I thought it would be nice for you to wake up to breakfast.”

Robb laughed. “Posh boys like you don’t cook.” Then he added, “Clearly.”

I shrugged. “I was only trying to do something nice.” Robb nodded and gave me a quick kiss. “I know that. I love you for that.” Then he looked at Bruce. “Jon is very sorry he woke you from your sleep. Would you like some more sleep or do you want to stay up?”

“More sleep please.” He said. Robb nodded and picked him up, mouthing a “I’ll be back” to me. Robb and Bruce disappeared into Bruce’s room and I assumed that Robb was telling Bruce a quick bedtime story, which Bruce loved to hear before going to sleep. Robb then re-emerged from Bruce’s room with a devious smile on his face. He came around the table and grab me forcefully and laid a rough kiss on me. He kissed every part of my body, my face, my cheeks, my legs, my lips, my neck, everything. “ i’m sorry for almost burning down the kitchen. I really do feel shitty about it.”

Robb gave me a quick slap on the ass and said, “Don’t worry about it love, if I wanted a baker I’d be with one.”

I smiled. “No, of course you’re with me, your favorite cousin.”

Robb shook his head. “Wrong. You’re my only cousin, which makes you my favorite and least favorite all at the same time.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fuck off.”

Robb raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? That’s not what you were saying last night.”

I shook my head. “That’s where you’re wrong. It’s exactly what I was saying last night.”

Robb licked his lips. “Damn right. Want to go to the bedroom while Bruce is sleeping?”

I shrugged. “Sure. Go on now and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.” Robb nodded and took off to our bedroom. It was really nice, how things had turned out. We got to be happy in the end, without anything holding us back. Me and Robb. And Bruce, of course. I was truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter so I want to thank everyone so very much for reading! Thank you!!!!


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